Post # 1
Hey hive. I’ve been crazy busy of late and haven’t been here for a while. I’ll try to make this short and sweet, I just really got get something off my chest.
To start, my Fiance is Caucasian and I am from the Philippines. Although we moved here when I was 7, it’s fair to say my parents feel more Filipino than Canadian. When Fiance and I got engaged on Valentine’s Day, it felt super awkward facing my parents. They were subdued, and even though my dad had given his permission for Fiance to propose, I always felt like my parents weren’t 100% happy.
Tonight my brother (who is a year older) just proposed to his gf…she is Filipino. She and her parents are over at my parents’ home talking and laughing. They seem genuinely excited about the engagement and I can hear them talking about the wedding which will likely take place in 2011.
It just saddens me that our engagement wasn’t met with the same enthusiasm, and yeah, I am super jealous. My parents have never made an attempt to meet FI’s parents and we’ve been dating for 8.5 years. Maybe my parents are more comfortable around those who speak their native tongue, but it really hurts to see the difference in how they’ve handled our engagements.
I need a hug =(
Post # 3
Aw you poor dear *Hug* That isn’t very nice of them at all. They need to put aside their personal feelings especially since you’re with someone who loves you and who you love back. 8 1/2 years is a long time and they should have been making an effort. congrats to your brother but honestly that is awful that you and your Fiance have been treated this way. We’re here for you if you need to vent!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Oh, I’m so sorry, that must be really disappointing! Is it because you feel deep down that you’re parents don’t 100% approve of you marrying someone who’s not Filipino? Either way, I can see how hurtful their lack of enthusiasm would be, that’s not fair! I wish I had some good advice but the only think I can think of is to talk to them about it, which would not be an easy convo to have but might help somehow???
Post # 5
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and I completely empathize. It’s sooo hard understanding my parents sometimes, who are not fully Americanized yet. Everyone says the answer is better/more open communication, but that’s just the problem!! I don’t know that there is a real answer in your situation, and if there is, I certainly haven’t figured it out yet. My Fiance has been through quite a bit, but my parents finally came around and now they love him. I will never understand their process or reasoning, though. Hang in there–you and your Fiance have made it 8.5 years already!
Post # 6
Aw girl, I know this is going to happen to my Fiance and it’s not even because we’re different races–just because his parents like his brother more. It makes me sad and I wish everyday that people didn’t have to feel like that! I hope that despite this, you have a good holiday season… go cuddle with Fiance and a couple of mugs of cocoa and feel better, or do something nice for yourself 🙂
Post # 7
I am sorry you are going through this, but do you think that maybe it is because you are their baby girl and they don’t want to give you up? Sometimes parents have an easier time giving up their sons than their daughters. I am sure that they just want to be sure that you are going to be happy.
Post # 8
I am really sorry you are going through this….*hugs* I agree with everyone else maybe try talking to your parents about how you feel…maybe they don’t really realize what they are doing….Also, I know sometimes its easier for parents to let go of males than females….maybe that is their issue..who knows but really sorry….
Post # 9
((HUGS)) – that stinks that you’re going through that!! I can relate, as my friend is going through a similar situation with her family. Her Fiance is not from the area, and her family always expected her to marry someone from our hometown. She’s dealing with the “they say they like him but they don’t act like it” feelings right now, and what’s worked well for her is to be honest with her family and show them why she loves him so much. Best of luck, dear!! They’ll come around!!