(Closed) Feeling emotional

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it is understandable to worry about you s/o. If this is someone that you are in love with and can see yourself building a future with, it’s only normal to think about things like stability and finances.

I am not sure where you guys are in your relationship, but if you guys are at a point where you talk about money and such, maybe bring it up to him. Just mention that you are worried about him. Obvi dont try to change his mind on his plans but just have a simple convo to help you feel better about everything.

Good luck!!!

 

Post # 5
Member
9481 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had a “breakdown” last night because I feel like everything is weighing on my shoulders between me and Fiance.  He gets jobs, then he’s laid off.  It’s seriously a run-around all of the time.  I have a good job at a psychiatric hospital as a Nurse’s Aide.  It’s not my favorite job by any means, but I have steady income, health insurance, and PTO.  Awesome!  But I’m seriously starting to feel extremely overwhelmed.  So, I know exactly how you feel.  I wish I knew what to say and how to help you feel better.  I can just be here for you to sympathize and to talk to.  (hugs) Good luck with everything!

Post # 6
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This would irk me a lot, I think. Why do you have to go to work and worry about grown up things and he can have unemployment and go to school? And if he is over educated already (even if it is in a different field), when is he going to stop?

Fiance has a cousin that is in her 40’s and has yet to work. She is a lifelong student. Her husband is getting sick of caring for their kids and the house and working 10+ hr days while she does internships and writes papers for a career that once she starts it, she should actually be nearing retirement age. I think you need to really talk to him about this, because it could put a damper on planning a future, if that is what you want. I know that FI’s cousin’s education has really taken a toll on their family – it is ok to love learning and have career dreams, but after a certain point, reality needs to hit.

I’m not trying to discourage you…I just think that if you want to move forward and start a life together, you should probably really tell him how you feel and that you are concerned.

Post # 8
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

umm even though you can defer student loan payments, the interest is still PILING up! This is not a smart move!

Post # 9
Member
9481 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LucyLaLa: I told him that I feel so guilty when I don’t pick up OT because I knew we need the money, but I’m so tired.

Post # 10
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

HE also needs to keep in mind, that if he is just going for 1 or 2 classes, he will only be putting off paying student loans for a short time, if at all. You have to be at least half time to be able to defer, and some schools, that means more than 2 classes, if the credit hours don’t add up to half time. Some schools consider full time 12 credits, where some consider it 15 credits. He really should be finding a job, and then taking his 1 or 2 classes simultaneously.

Post # 12
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@LucyLaLa: Yeah, i went part time most of the time I was in college, so as long as you are taking at least 6 credits, you are considered part time and can continue to defer (my school at least). I will also say, those were government loans, so if he got personal loans they may be different.

If it were me, I would want him to find a job first, and then go back to school. How else does he plan on paying for it, if he isn’t planning on taking any more loans? Even an inexpensive program, I can’t see being able to afford on unemployment wages

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