(Closed) Feeling evil… is this too low?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I use facebook to publicly shame this obstinate non-RSVPer?

    Go for it, indulge the evil!

    Now Greenleafmountain, you know you're better than that!

  • Post # 17
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Don’t do it.  Just assume he isn’t coming.

    Post # 18
    Member
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would see how things pan out with your Fiance handling it, then if nothing works assume he’s not coming.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    5323 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would leave him a voicemail saying what you wrote. Let him know you’re not saving a seat for him and that basically he’s not coming. If you FB shame him you’ll probably get sh*t from your mutual friends, although I agree, I’d totally want to do it too 😉

    Post # 20
    Member
    1300 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i would do a “kill em with kindness” kinda thing – posting on his FB page “hi, [insert idiots name here] its a shame that you decided not to come to the wedding, I am sure you would have had fun! hopefully we will see you sometime after the wedding.”

    basically since he didnt answer his RSVP, you are showing him he no longer has a seat. lol but its nice… ya know?

    Post # 21
    Member
    694 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @spaganya:  Hahaha….that is cheeky!  I like it 🙂

    Post # 22
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If he doesn’t RSVP, why don’t you send him a message saying “Since you didn’t RSVP we assume that you’re not coming. See you around!” and don’t leave a place or meal for him. You don’t even like him in the first place, right? If someone flaked on an RSVP I would assume they aren’t coming.. it would pretty rude and weird if someone showed up unannounced!

    Post # 23
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I would do a post saying RSVPS are due by XXX if you don not RSVP by then I understand you do not wish to attend, , but in general NO NAMES,,,, this is how a few ppl holding out on giving me their address so I could send STD’s

    Post # 24
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I wouldn’t waste a minute more on this guy.  Sadly, he clearly hasn’t given you or Fiance much thought or consideration either.  Consider him not coming and move on to more important items on your To-Do list.

    Post # 25
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

    I’m with bride2bejc on this one. Just leave him a message (phone/email) stating that since you have not recieved his reply and has not returned your phone calls, you are assuming that he is not able to attend your wedding & reception and leave it at that. There is an RSVP date for a reason and he already surpassed that.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    People like this really, really tick me off. If he doesn’t get back to you by the 14th, I would send him one last e-mail, private message on Facebook and e-mail saying you’re assuming he’s not coming, and you have not included him in the guest/chair count.

    If he shows up the day of the wedding, honestly I would just be like, “Sorry, you didn’t RSVP and we can’t accommodate you!”

    But, I’m bitchy like that and have no sympathy for people who find it hard to even text, “yes, chicken” to let them know you’re coming to an event.

    Post # 27
    Member
    821 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would call him just before the deadline and if he doesn’t respond. mark him as a “no”. You shouldn’t have to cater to his inability to hve common courtesy. He doesn’t care to respond? Fine, then you don’t care to provide a meal or a place at the reception.

    Post # 28
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Honestly, he’d get one phone call from me and I would say, “I need to know if you are intending on coming to our wedding so I can inform the caterer of your meal choice.  If I do not hear back from you in the next 24 hours, I will assume that to be a NO.  Hope you’re enjoying your summer!”

    Simple, sweet and a quick solution.  It doesn’t sound like you want him there, anyway, so if he doesn’t call back – no biggie!

    Post # 29
    Member
    767 posts
    Busy bee

    Agree with everyone that I would not order a meal or a chair for him.  Give him a message letting him know that you’re assuming he’s not coming.  And don’t back down.  But be sweet.  The asshole.

    Post # 30
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    I sent an email out to those that hadn’t RSVP’d and said “If I don’t have an answer by the end of the week, I will assume you are not coming and will not be saving you a seat, etc.”  It was much more nice than that but you get the picture.  Try to make it seem like there will be a guest check in, seats are reserved, etc.

    Post # 31
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Why don’t you just count him out?  If he attempts to RSVP yes (and what are the chances of that happening, given his reluctance to RSVP at all, ever), just say that there’s a deadline for a reason.  You don’t like him anyway.

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