(Closed) Feeling foolish…..

posted 7 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that if you want a “real” wedding you should have one and not feel foolish about it. I know I know; easier said than done, but I have just gone through this, and at first I felt foolish too. I never had my dream wedding.

With my ex, we just went to Reno and had a quickie marriage and then went to Circus Circus and played all those silly games. We weren’t even old enough to drink and there was no family around.

Well, after being with my dream guy; the one I am with now, we decided we wanted to get married and we both wanted me to have my dream wedding, and you know what, we did have my dream wedding and it turned into his too. I had just turned 51 <— Ouch! on our wedding day and I can tell you that our wedding was the best ever with no regrets of having it all. Search my ID for some recaps.

I have one more recap to do, but I am waiting for the bee to get fixed, so I don’t have to worry about half my post being eaten several time while I try to post it.

I wish you the very best and I can almost guarantee that once you get into the thick of things you will find yourself getting more and more excited everyday πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@noritake22: i didnt know your bday was on your wedding day! thats adorable – happy belated bday!

 

@ms.charming: i totally agree with noritake. no matter how old, i think you are entitled to and deserve your dream wedding…WITHOUT feeling foolish. and i say this as a first time, young (somewhat – i’m 30!) bride. nothing foolish about it. its about the love between you and your Fiance and starting YOUR lives together. none of that has to do with exes or age.  and you should definitely check out noritake’s recaps, they made me teary-eyed!

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@dynamic_duo: Thank you πŸ™‚ But I had just had my birthday; 9 days before. My hubby’s birthday was 9 days after πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You’re not the only one. I have tossed the idea back and forth several times weather to get married or have a wedding. I, like you, didn’t have a wedding before, and this is FI’s first. We just decided a few minutes ago to do both. Get married privately and have a party later.

The most important thing to remember is this: when it comes down to it, it’s just you and the man you love celebrating that love and commitment. Plus you get to eat cake! (One of my fav parts.) There’s no need to feel foolish. Just think of it as your first wedding (which it is), and you deserve all the things that go along with it. 

(((((HUGS)))))

Post # 7
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

A dream is a dream. 

Have your dream wedding. My mother has been married twice and has never had a “real” wedding. She never even bought herself a new dress. Last time she just borrowed one of my promish dresses. It makes me incredibly sad.

In some way I think that if someone is going to stop living out their dreams because of their age, their life really isn’t worth continuing. (I probably phrased that horribly)

Post # 10
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@ms.charming: Once I got it in my head that it was our wedding and it really didn’t matter what anyone else thought, that is when the fun began. The most important people in your life will support your decision and that is all that matters πŸ™‚

@dynamic_duo: That’s okay πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m 46, and for a while I also felt foolish. I thought, well, why not just go down to the courthouse or run off to Vegas? But then I talked to some friends and family, and they were all super excited. They want to celebrate with us and were disappointed when I said maybe I’d just do a quick courthouse thing. That’s when I realized that a “real” wedding, especially the second time around, is not just about me and him. It’s about everyone we care about.

Don’t worry about how old you think a bride should be. Wear a fancy white dress if that’s what  you love; carry flowers, say vows, have a party, laugh, cry, celebrate! Your love and happiness will carry over to everyone who knows you, and feed back to you and your man.

Post # 12
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Whether it’s your first wedding, second wedding….tenth wedding..jk…it doesn’t  matter, it’s YOUR day! It should be all about you and your FH celebrating your love and commitment for eachother.

This is my second wedding and I LOVE being an encore bride because I feel like there are no rules! The first time around I felt pressured to keep both sides of the family happy and caved on a lot of things. Also this time around I feel like we are saving SO much money and doing things a lot smarter. I think everyone should have a practice wedding before they have to plan their own “real” wedding.

With that being said, I would have loved to elope on a beach some where. But this is FH’s first wedding and he wants the church and wants to see me walk down the aisle. He is a bit sentimental like that.(aww!) So I went along for the ride and decided to make the best of it and somewhere along the line his enthusiam has rubbed off on me. 

It’s your day girls! Do what makes you and FH happy! 

Post # 13
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Give yourself more permission to enjoy the planning, enjoy the big ol’ dress and enjoy everything in between. There is no shame in celebrating. You deserve this. I hope you find comfort in this and can proceed unobstructed. 

Post # 14
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

Next year when my SO and I finish his K-1 visa paperwork and he comes out, we’ll be having a “real” wedding. I’ve never had one, and I too felt foolish (since I’ll be 31 and it’ll be my 3rd marriage). I wasn’t even thinking about planning anything or a dress, until my best friend (thank God for best friends I tell you) sat me down and said at 31 I wasn’t too old for a wedding dress, or a cake, or cans tied to my car. Just like having kids is an excuse to play with Legos and Barbies and crayons again, every woman who is planning a marriage is allowed to enjoy a wedding. It would be foolish not to. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
7 posts
Newbee

@MeAndDubby:was it easy to decide to get married for a third time?  IF i get married it will be my third too.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend but I have some serious trust issues that I’m trying to work through before committing again.  Sometimes I think maybe I should stay away from the marriage thing, it might be bad luck.

 

@ms.charming

Post # 16
Member
7 posts
Newbee

@MeAndDubby:was it easy to decide to get married for a third time?  IF i get married it will be my third too.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend but I have some serious trust issues that I’m trying to work through before committing again.  Sometimes I think maybe I should stay away from the marriage thing, it might be bad luck.

 

@ms.charming

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