- 5 years ago
I just want to share my feelings and get some ideas of how to deal with this or find out if the way I’m feeling is normal. I am so incredibly excited to get married. I love my fiance so much, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. We just bought a house and I am having a great time fixing it up and decorating it, and I am so excited for marriage.
But I am not excited at all for my actual wedding. Right now, thinking about the actual wedding date is making me sick to my stomach. I think it’s a combination of factors. First, just the planning aspect is exhausting and stressful. Between friends, and family everyone is a wedding expert and wants to give their two cents about table linens, cakes, centerpieces, dresses, favorts, etc. and I do not have any interest in listening to them, nor do I have the time.
My shower is next week, and I am already starting to see how rude people can be, with people who still haven’t RSVP-ed, even though the due date was a week and a half ago. Also, people are adding their kids to the guest list, and/or making last-minute cancellations and it is so hard to keep track of everything. This is just for my shower, which I am technically not even in charge of…my mom is in charge of the shower. I can’t even imagine what the wedding guest list will be like.
It also doesn’t help that my fiance and one of his groomsmen (who is also a really good friend of mine) got into a huge argument and haven’t spoken in over two weeks. We have both tried to reach out to him to fix the problem, and he still won’t answer us. I have a strong feeling that our friend is going to end up quitting the wedding party, which puts us in such a rough spot since our wedding is less than three months away. If he ends up quitting, there is no way to find a “replacement” without making the new guy feel like a B-list choice. Regardless of the wedding, it is very upsetting to be in a non-speaking situation with a friend, especially when it leaves other friends feeling the need to choose sides. We are going to be sending out invitations in a couple of weeks, and have no idea what to do about these friends.
All of these things plus stress from work and getting our new house ready have just left me with a really gloomy outlook toward my wedding day. Again, I am so excited for marriage, so it’s not that I don’t want to get married. I just am not enjoying the planning and the drama that come with it. My friends and family are so excited for my fiance and me, and I know that I need to be appreciative of that. But whenever I am in a social situation, the wedding is all people want to talk about. It feels like I’m on an interview answering a series of the same questions over and over and over again, and no one wants to talk about anything else. “How many bridesmaids do you have?” “Are you inviting so and so?” “What flavor is your cake?” “What is your first dance song going to be?” JUST NON-STOP QUESTIONS! It is so exhausting!
It is starting to get to the point where my mom and grandparents have noticed that I am not acting as excited as I was during the earlier stages of engagement and are wondering what’s wrong. I don’t know how to tell them how I feel without sounding ungrateful and spoiled, since my parents are paying for the wedding and have been wonderful. People have even been commenting about how I have lost weight, and honestly, I haven’t even been dieting or exercising. I just joke with people and tell them “I’m too busy and stressed to eat,” and they laugh, but it’s true. I just feel like I am not thinking or acting like a typical bride and I should be excited for my wedding day. Is this normal or am I alone on this? What are some good ways of getting back on track and being excited again?