(Closed) Feeling Greedy & Upset

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t know if this is the case for you, but I know some of my friends thought they weren’t getting much from their registry, but people were buying from it, but not via the registry. They either bought it from the store, but didn’t alert those who needed to know to mark it on the registry or they bought the same exact item elsewhere.

Post # 4
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think you sound greedy. I think your reaction is pretty normal. Whether or not it’s right, it’s human nature to want others to be excited/gift/celebrate with you the way you did for them. I’m sorry it’s not turning out like you’d hoped. 

Post # 6
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know in alot of cases, people wait until the last minute to buy bridal shower gifts.

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@BetterSherm:  I had the same thing. Our registry wasn’t moving, but at the shower that my IL’s side threw, people from smaller towns bought things from in town stores rather than chains and just didn’t cross them off.

Also, I was shocked to see how many people sent their gifts along or dropped them off in the AM even though they couldn’t make it. You may be surprised by the amount of gift cards/cash you recieve as well, most of which can be put towards your china in the end. 

Post # 8
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t worry about it!  Lots of people wait until the last minute to get gifts (as in buy the gift the day of the shower).  And some people go off registry (I actually had quite a few people go off registry).  I also didn’t have the best turn out for my showers either (maybe 60% said yes).  But it was still a great time.  And honestly, I think small showers are way better because you get to talk and visit with everyone!

Post # 9
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I only got a 50% turn out for my shower as well– especailly given the summer season, many people will have plans already. 

As for the registry, most people shop last minute, I had 6 of my 14 guests who all shopped the morning of my shower. (Which I know because I had been looking at my registry the night before). I had a few guests who bought Items that I’d registered for, but not “from” the registry too, so that’s always a possibility. 

Just relax and enjoy your shower! 

Post # 10
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I had the same feelings of disappointment when we received several “no” replies for one of my showers. It’s really disheartening when you feel like people can’t/won’t be there with you to celebrate this awesome occasion.

But we still had such a great time. I know you’ll be sad about who can’t attend, but I think on the day of your shower, even with a smaller guest list, you’ll be overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and generosity you experience.

As far as gifts go, pretty much everyone I know waits till the week of or day before (or heck, even the day of) the shower to buy a present. People are just procrastinators by nature. I’m sure you’ll still get some lovely gifts that you can cherish for a long time.

Also, make sure to take lots of fun pictures of the people who are there and the gifts you do receive. I think being able to look back on pictures really helps me to remember how lucky I am and how special my shower was!

Post # 11
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

It looks like you’re getting married in 2017. Is that the case? Because if so, that may be why people are not buying gifts… it’s too far out. Hell, I usually don’t buy the gift until the day of or day before the shower, as it is. I wouldn’t be too sad yet–you have tons of time.

Post # 13
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

If it makes you feel better, I went to a shower last weekend and I bought my gift off her registry…the MORNING OF. 🙂 I’m a procrastinator!

Post # 14
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe you’re just getting cash!  😉

Post # 15
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You also might get gifts from the folks who aren’t coming! I wasn’t able to travel five hours upstate to my cousin’s wedding shower last weekend – even though I really wanted to – but I sent her a gift from her registry anyway. 

Regardless, I know it sucks when you feel like you’ve spent a lot of time and money on other people’s celebrations but they aren’t able to return the favor when it’s your turn. It’s definitely a crappy feeling, and I’m sorry you’re going through it!

Post # 16
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you should just do yourself a favor and stop registry-stalking until AFTER the party…you may be surprised! Also, remember that you will receive a lot of gifts at the actual wedding.

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