(Closed) Feeling guilty…

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
325 posts
Helper bee

Dreaming42: Maybe you should consider going back to work. Last time I checked, going on strike was a voluntary action. Have to wonder how all of your coworkers are surviving without working for that length of time.

I agree that teachers are way underpaid, but it’s pretty sad that the kids have to pay the consequences. That’s what I would feel guilty about, moreso than contributing to my household and having extra spending money.

Post # 3
967 posts
Busy bee

ok here is my advice. Have you consider cutting back on certain things in the budget? If it were me here is a few things I would cut. 

1. Cable- it’s not that important, instead of cable you get a Roku streaming box or an Apple TV streamer and have hulu and netflixs. This should cost 50 dollars or less a month

2. Food- eat out less, cook at home, bring food from home for lunch, don’t buy lunch. Cook multiple meals one day a week. And put them in containers and use those for the week. 

3. Gym membership- do you have one? If so cancel it temporarily, exercise from home or go walking outside. 

4. Entertainment- cut back on expensive entertainment. Do things that cost no money. For example during the summer go to the beach. It dosnt cost a thing to go to the beach. Instead of going out why not have a game night or movie night with your friends. 

These are the tips that I can think of. 

Post # 4
1246 posts
Bumble bee

PoliticallyIncorrect:  in some cases you can lose your job for crossing a picket line….

OP are you a teacher in BC? If your plans are to marry your SO, I wouldn’t worry too much, I’m sure one day you’ll make it up to him! You could even tutor students for cash while on strike…. Hopefully it’s over soon!

Post # 5
12243 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

PoliticallyIncorrect:  If everyone through time had taken that advice, we’d all be screwed. Thanks to unions we have weekend and holidays off. Not for much longer, though.

Dreaming42:  that sucks. this is a part of life,unfortunately, but it’s awkward when you don’t feel you’ve made this commitment. In truth, though, when we commit to live with someone, we are taking on a lot of similar responsibilities. Is it possible to work another short term job in the interim?

Post # 8
2292 posts
Buzzing bee

It sounds like you’re doing what you can to keep things going smoothly. Don’t be hard on yourself, and listen to your SO. 

Have you considered doing some sort of job to bring in money? Maybe you could be a tutor, nanny, or babysitter. Jobs like those could bring in enough cash to pay some bills and ease your worries. 

ETA: I read your updates. It’s great that you’ll have some money coming in. I hope the strike ends soon or that you’ll find a stable source of income. Again, don’t be hard on yourself; you’re doing your best. It’s great that you have such a supportive and understanding SO.  

Post # 9
1032 posts
Bumble bee

My Fiance (recently engaged) has been the main “breadwinner” for the past three years of our relationship. And when it first happened it was really, really tough on me. I went from being independent to having to rely on somebody through no fault of my own. As it is right now I make enough to pay my car payment, credit cards, and the dogs monthly insurance And sometimes groceries. He pays EVERYTHING else. 

it sounds like your SO is a good guy and understands that this is a tough period and no fault of your own. Let him help you during this time, especially if he is willing. Don’t let the strike cause stress on your relationship. Finances are a very serious thing, but you are lucky enough to have found someone who wants to take care of you during this terrible time. And while he picks up most of the financial slack, do more around the house and small things for him to show him that you appreciate what he is doing for you. 

Post # 11
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

PoliticallyIncorrect:  “I agree that teachers are way underpaid, but it’s pretty sad that the kids have to pay the consequences. That’s what I would feel guilty about”

That’s noble of you, if of course you are in the exact same situation as the OP. If not, then perhaps it’s best not to be so judgmental until you’ve walked a mile in a teacher’s shoes. 


Post # 12
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im so sorry you’re going through this…

If you feel guilty for not being able to pay for your share, maybe you could “pay” in other ways? Like cooking or doing a little more than your share of housecleaning. Just so you feel better, of course, not because you HAVE to :)<br /><br />Also, listen to your SO, he’s being great, no need to beat yourself up.

I hope everything gets better soon. hugs!

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