(Closed) feeling guilty

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You need to cool down your relationship with this other dude and figure out what you really want.  You said that it has been the best 11 months of your life, so why are you putting yourself in situation to screw that up unless  you want to end it with your bf.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

You need to distance yourself from this “friend” ASAP.

How would your bf feel if he knew about the cuddles and kisses on the neck.

Sit down with your bf and have a chat about how you are feeling right now, maybe talk about your insecurities of not having a job/being slightly dependent.

If your relationship with your bf is so amazing, you need to figure out why you are seeking an emotional connection with another man.

Post # 6
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Ms. Sparkles: I agree.

If it has been the happiest 11 months, then why put yourslef in a position where you know somethings like that can happen if you love your BF?? Did you tell your Boyfriend or Best Friend about it??

Post # 7
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@lonely OU student: I think in that case, you need to consider doing what’s best for you–if you want to see the world and gain experience but he won’t support you or do it with you, he’s probably not Mr. Right.

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It can be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is older because of the differences in life experiences. However, you should not judge yourself based on your bf’s accomplishments. Your life, to this point, has brought you to where you are and at 19 you still have SO many opportunities ahead. If not going to university is something that bothers you explore the options available so you can. If your bf makes you happy and is supportive then look at the benefits of having him in your life as your partner while you explore the opportunities for education and career advancement.

Post # 11
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lonely OU student:It sounds like you are upset that he “expects to be served” every night. You should discuss this with your boyfriend and cover the ways the household chores are divided. If he is working and you are not right now he may, erroneously, be assuming you will handle the evening meal. Talk to him so you two can move forward 🙂

Post # 14
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lonely OU student: Sounds like you need to have a serious sit down conversation with him. He is not treating you as an equal.

Do not put your dreams on hold for him. If you want to study in Germany for 6 mo-1year then DO IT. You are too young to change your life for someone else (especially for someone who does not respect you as an equal).

Post # 15
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lonely OU student:Your feelings are understandable. If he depends on you to manage the cooking, and used to share in the duties, then he is probably coming from the mindset that he is working and you are not so it shouldn’t be a big deal – which isn’t good but most of us do similar things without meaning to. It is good you discussed it with him even if it didn’t change anything straight away he knows how you feel. My husband definitely prefers handling traditionally-male chores and leaves the cooking to me, my displeasure of which we have discussed 😉 We did, however, come to an understanding of what we each see as needs and what we each like-dislike doing. I enjoy cooking and am good at it, he’s good with tools and tackles the remodeling jobs. We both work, he went to university and I am just finishing, we each have a child from a previous marriage, so at this point in our lives we are pretty even 🙂

Congratulations on your university courses! I am excited for you!

Post # 16
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

you should make him a big pot roast and tell him your feelings over it. and if he doesn’t come to the table to eat it, then put it in a tupperware (don’t throw it out!) and try talking to him anyways.

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