(Closed) Feeling guilty….

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think its okay to feel guilty, but you need to talk to him about your fears. The first year of being married is very hard, and you really need to keep the lines of communication open. It is a life altering commiment.

With your age, if it at all helps, my Future Mother-In-Law was 30 when Fiance was born, and 34 when her daughter was born . They were adopted, but she is an AMAZING mommy, and a still really active grandma (still thinks she is too young to be a grandma.. lol… she is now 56.) And now there are such advaces that it isnt seen as too taboo anymore.

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

A lot of women are conflicted over pregnancy no matter the age. I also understand your unwillingness to be an older mom. That can be especially difficult if you don’t live in an area where it is common. I think an older mom needs even more emotional/social support. People going through the same thing at similar age. My mom got pregnant at 35 and her friend was also pregnant right around the same time. They leaned alot on each other and that helped. It was a second marriage for both.

I can sympathize with your back aches and migraines. (Been there!) I think you are right to talk to Darling Husband about your feelings. Encourage him to talk to you about his feelings too. Keep those lines of communication open!

 I wish you didn’t have to work a physically demanding job. Is there any possiblity of you finding another job? That might help your outlook.

Could you maybe discuss adoption or foster care if you do not get pregnant this year? That would still give him a chance to be a dad w/o the toll on your body. πŸ™‚  Also realize that you just might not be able to get pregnant and all this worry is for nothing. My friend remarried later in life and her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant since she was 32. They both have kids so it isn’t that they are physically incapable. They’ve tried for eight years no with no success and have seen infertility specialists. Sadly there are no guarentees in this life. I guess somethings we still have to leave up to God.

Don’t feel guilty. You are entitled to your feelings. They will run the gamut throughout this process. That is ok. Just don’t bottle this stuff up. Vent! *hugs*

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