(Closed) Feeling Guilty About Being A Mystery Shopper….

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ughh, I would feel bad doing that too. 

You’re just doing your job though! If he is a good employee otherwise he may just get written up for this. When my husband used to serve they could get written up 3 times for various things before getting let go. However, if carding is one of those things that leads to getting fired then he should have been doing it I guess. If he gets fired he can probably find another serving job, those typically aren’t too hard to come by. That sucks for him though.

That does seem like a fun job though! You get to eat & get paid Smile 

Post # 5
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I would not feel bad. You are 21. Most restaurants have signs up saying they ID anyone who appears under 30 or 40. I’m guessing you appear significantly under either of these ages. So he should have carded you. His mistake, not yours. Hopefully he will not get fired. But regardless of what happens, if he were to be caught serving alcohol to minors by police or the beverage control board in your state then he could face legal consequences. So maybe whatever consequence he gets from this will be enough to prevent him from getting a much harsher consequence in the future.

ETA: Also, the reason the restaurant hires people like you to find these things out is because if one of their servers get caught serving alcohol to a minor, they are also responsible and can face legal consequences including fines, losing their liquor license, etc.

Post # 6
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I have a similar experience. I used to do sting cigarette opterations as a teenager and I never felt guity until a person (with obvious social difficulties) sold me cigarettes….I mean my original thought was that you shouldn’t be working if you are selling minors cigs (I was obviously a young, only 14). I never felt bad about these people who sold to me until I was sold cigarettes by a person that I knew would struggle to get a new job. I quit after that…

Post # 8
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I don’t feel guilty for ANY other person who sold to me because honestly selling cigarettes to a underage kid is just wrong and that same rule goes for alchohol. So if he looked like he should have known beter than I wouldn’t let it get you down. However, I don’t suggest doing this again because god forbid you come across someone who you know NEEDS that job….I wouldn’t kick yourself down 🙂 

Post # 10
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MrsSkeletonKey: Well technically he did nothing wrong because the law is not to sell to under 21. You are not under 21. If they fire him because of that then technically wouldn’t he be able to sue for unfair dismissal? 


Post # 12
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I can totally understand why you feel bad, I get it. But try not to let it get you down – you were doing your job, and unfortunately he wasn’t doing his very well. I highly doubt that at age 21 you look like you’re 40! And if the rule is he has to ID everyone who looks under 40, then he should have IDed you whether you were married or not.

Side note – that seems like a crazy rule to me though! Here in the UK the legal drinking age is 18 and most stores have a policy of IDing you if you look under 25.

Post # 13
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Don’t feel bad. 

Anyone could say they are married, and you can get married from the age of 18 without parental consent, so that’s a bad reason for not carding someone. 

Part of his job was to card you. He didn’t do it. 

Whatever management decides to do is on them, and will be a reflection of his ability or inability to do his job properly. 

Post # 14
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I wouldnt feel bad. I made it policy I carded everyone when I waited tables. I had an older gentleman try to get into it with me when I carded the whole table with his family there. To be fair this was a large party of 15-20 and he was the oldest, but everyone was drinking so I carded all of them! I said fair is fair and I personally have a one person gets carded everyone gets carded policy it has nothing to do what age you look its just a personal policy of fairness. When I explained it that way he pulled the card out, and I said thank you.

Post # 15
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t feel bad about doing this.  He has a job to do, and so do you.  He didn’t do his, which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do yours.  Perhaps he’ll just get a slap on the wrist this time and it will get better for him in the future.  But his failure to do what was expected of him isn’t something that should hang over your head.

Post # 16
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you have to keep it in perspective. You are 21, but he didn’t know that. He is supposed to card you and he didn’t. People make mistakes, but he is representing his company and if he doesn’t do his job he will get written up or fired. That is how the business world works. Also, I would be careful (family, friends, ect) who you tell about your mystery shopping incase he does get fired. You don’t want that person to find out YOU were the one who got him introuble. You never know who he knows that you know.

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