(Closed) Feeling guilty about not inviting an old friend…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would stand your ground and if she asks why she didn’t get a save the date tell her that you all simply weren’t able to invite everyone you would like, due to budget/space/etc.  Hopefully she wouldn’t bring it up, though, considering you all haven’t talked in so long!  Best of luck!

Post # 4
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Yea, I would be terrified to face her too! Don’t get me wrong, I still wouldn’t invite her. But it’s going to be awkward. Just don’t tell her too much about wedding details and say you only have a certain number on the guest list… you have to leave some people out. Sorry!

Post # 5
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My husband INSISTED on inviting his (then) friend and the friends fiance (the broke up) who introduced us. They were having problems so she attended without him- she popped some pills, got super drunk, etc.. I ended up with vomit on my dress and we had to drive her home at 4 a.m. because she refused to stay and was going to drive home drunk. I wish we would have let her get in the car and called the police, she was a tool.

Post # 6
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

How much time before your wedding is that wedding?  If her drinking is the only reason you didn’t invite her you could see how she handles the alcohol at that wedding and then decide.  She can still get an invite without an STD.  Also, she might not act like that anymore.  Your post suggests you haven’t hung out in several years. 

If, however, the drinking is no the reason but that you have grown apart then just say sadly most of your invites went to family, the space isn’t that large, budget, etc…

Post # 8
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Don’t feel too bad about not inviting her. If you haven’t really hung out in years, you’re hardly obligated to. Plus, you shouldn’t have to spend your wedding worrying about someone who can’t handle themselves around alcohol. It’s just not fair to your or your Fiance.

It does suck that you have to see her, though. I would definitely lean hard on the budget constraints :).

Post # 10
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Not horrible!  It’s sad, but Don’t invite trouble to your wedding if you don’t have to.

Post # 11
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Aww that’s such a tough situation. Good luck!

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