(Closed) Feeling guilty about WANTING to change my name-anybody else? *long vent*

posted 5 years ago in Names
Post # 3
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I was THRILLED to change my last name–I would have jumped through burning hoops for it!

But now I feel a teensy bit guilty about it!

Post # 4
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@BrandNewBride:  I was happy to exchange one long Russian name for another, but I don’t feel guilty about it.

Post # 5
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@howsweetitis:  I feel guilty sometimes, but mostly because my last name dies out with my generation (my dad and Uncle have 4 girls and 0 sons between them). I love my last name, but I do have that same feeling of wanting to have the same name as my kids one day. And hyphenating wouldn’t work for us; my last name is 9 letters long, while SO’s is 8 letters. Way too much for a little kid to try and spell.

Post # 6
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I had a professor in college who had books under one name, classes listed under another name, and often used the both together, and it wasn’t confusing at all. We all knew who she was. If you have to have your new last name some places and would like to continue using your old last name other places, I’d often list them both (your full new legal name First Maiden NewLastName) so it’s clear that it’s all the same person. It shouldn’t be a problem.

Post # 7
578 posts
Busy bee

I think if I was you, I would just be the gal who is gossiped about, and change my name and be published under my new last name. It is THAT important to me to have the same name as my husband and our future children. But I understand that that is not the right choice for many in your situation. 

Post # 8
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would change it. But that is just me. I LOVE my new last name. It’s simple, compared to my previous 10 letter long Iranian maiden name. I had to change it on work documents and certifications, as I work in healthcare and getting things changed was a pain at first. But no regrets whatsoever! My husband still smiles really big when I give my new last name over the phone or at a store. It’s adorable! People will know you got married, women change their names all the time. It’ll be a temporary hassel initially and that’s it. 

Post # 10
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@howsweetitis:  That’s probably a good point about not changing it mid-semester, I didn’t know my professor before she got married, she was always both names to me. So even if it’s confusing for a semester or so, it won’t be after that.

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