(Closed) Feeling Guilty & Confused

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

She gets one day,not one year. Tell your bf you don’t want your life to revolve around your bff. You appreciate the sentiment, but it’s not going to help.

You certainly can both plan at the same time, and sometimes it’s even nicer having another woman in the middle of plan jng to bounce ideas off of.

Post # 4
Member
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t know why you feel guilty and confused.  Just be happy you’re with a guy who’s kind enough to take all the details you mentioned above into consideration (whether or not you agree with the end decision he came to).

Relax, and be happy when he feels it is the right time to propose.

Post # 5
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh and welcome to the bee! Don’t forget to check out the waiting boards.

Post # 7
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

its 4 months since february, i see no reason why you have to wait any longer!

my only advice is – by all means get excited if you get engaged, but when you go to things related to *her* wedding (dress fittings, engagment parties etc) focus on her wedding, dont make it about yours. and then when you do ti yourself, its your turn so to speak

Post # 8
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Your timeline for engagement and marriage should not have to be structured around that of your best friend.  It is very sweet that your SO is so thoughtful and considerate.  However, you should not have to wait either to become engaged or to get married. Beyond the obvious (not having your SO propose during your friend’s wedding or reception and ensuring that you do not schedule your wedding and honeymoon to coincide with her wedding or honeymoon so that you’re able to be in each other’s weddings), I don’t see any issues. 

Post # 9
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@takemyhand:  She gets one day,not one year.

 

 

EXACTLY!  That is nice for him to be considerate, but totally unnecessary. 

Post # 10
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I was thrilled when I was engaged and my best friend got engaged. I think your BF’s decision tow ait is really unnecessary, and I also don’t think there’s any problem with him proposing in the gardens. Usually, botanical gardens are huge with lots of different areas, nor will it be decorated for your friend’s wedding the day he proposes there.

Post # 13
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

As long as you don’t get engaged at her wedding, or annouce it on her wedding day, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I’d encourage your Fiance to propose when and how he feels is right, regardless of others’ lives.

Post # 14
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

He should be able to propose when he wants to, not when it’s right for your best friend. I’m sure she won’t be upset that you had the audacity to get engaged whilst she is in the middle of wedding planning! He should go for it if he feels the time is right!

Post # 15
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I can relate to this! My now fiance and I had been talking about getting married for a while. We looked at rings, talked about honeymoons, discussed where we could have it, but then we broke up. It only lasted 3 weeks (a horrible 3 weeks – but as it turned out it made us stronger), but after we rekindled, we didn’t necessarily start over, but we put the wedding talk on hold for a while. We got back together at the end of November. On New Years Eve, my BFF got engaged, and her wedding is in September. I was jealous, of course, but super happy for her. The first 2 months were all about her. I didn’t let my jealousy show, especially because I knew my day would come when it was the right time. Well, end of February, my fiance got a new job with better pay and benefits, and he wanted to look at rings. Who was I to say no? 🙂 We found one, and we became engaged on March 10th of this year. So now my BFF and I are planning our weddings together, and let me tell you, it is nice to go through it with someone else who understands the stress. We have our wedding conversations where we go back and forth about her big day, and then my big day, and we go wedding shopping together. But this past weekend was her bachelorette party and bridal shower, and I made sure the weekend was about her and included no wedding talk of my own (unless someone asked me a question, which happened a few times). It is completely possible for two best friends to be engaged at the same time without stealing each others thunder! I personally am happy that it worked out the way that it did because to be honest, we are both clueless about some of the details, and are learning together. It’s definitely a bonding experience!

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