(Closed) Feeling guilty from random act of kindness

posted 6 years ago in Holidays
Post # 2
5187 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

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BowSister:  If it’s making you feel that guilty then give it to one of your friends who is less fortunate, or use it to buy gifts for a toy drive.

Post # 3
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Wow, that’s an amazingly generous person who gave you the card. If you don’t feel like you can accept it, why don’t you pass it along to a homeless shelter or a women and children’s shelter?

Post # 4
13549 posts
Honey Beekeeper

That is an amazing story!  What you do with the gift card is up to you, of course, but you have no reason to feel guilty or that you can’t accept it. It gave that woman pleasure to give you that gift and she thought you would enjoy it. 

Post # 5
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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BowSister:  Why do you think you don’t deserve it?

Most of my family (and husband’s) are much less fortunate than us, so I definitely understand why your first instict is to give the card to loved ones who have less than you. But you don’t need to feel guilty for accepting a gift that someone gave you. If your husband wants to keep it and use it, see if you could find a way to do that and not feel bad. What if you spent maybe $25 on each of your friends (or their kids), then spent the other $50 on your own family? There’s nothing wrong with that! Surely there’s something extra your kids could use, or your husband. Or you! Accept the gift and have fun with it. If you’re taking care of your family of 4 on 30k a year, I’d say that definitely deserves a bonus!

Post # 6
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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BowSister:  In this case, guilt is not a useful emotion. This was an outrigh gift and it likely gave the giver great pleasure to be able to give it. So accept it with similar gratitude. That being said, I think it’s a beautiful idea to share your good fortune. How about a compromise of splitting the card or using it to buy some things for yourself and some things for your friends?

Post # 7
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

i think you should feel happy that there are such people around. if you feel that you cannot accept it, donate it or use it to buy food/toys that can be donated. and you can use this opportunity to teach your kids the idea of paying it forward. 

Post # 8
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I like the compromise idea.  Some for you, some for others.  What a wonderful story!

Post # 9
1839 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with PPs, this is a very generous gift and you definitely sound like you deserve it. However, if you feel guilty about taking it perhaps donate it to the local toy drive or buy something for each of your friends. 

My understanding was always that random acts of kindness are a kind of ‘pay it forward’ type movement so rather than feel guilty use this $100 to do something good. 

Post # 10
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Don’t feel guilty!  The lady chose YOU. Sure you don’t feel like you absolutely NEED it, but it wouldn’t hurt you right?  You can pay it forward by giving your friends gift cards in smaller amounts. Perhaps $10-$20 each. Then you can use the remainder on yourself and your family. 

Post # 11
836 posts
Busy bee

Would it maybe make you feel better to use part of that gift on your two friends? Is there someone they could use that they will probably not be treating themselves to with the current circumstances? You know what is best 🙂 you could even just remember to keep paying the gesture forward, when you get the chance

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