(Closed) Feeling guilty that I’m mad, but I am

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I tell the vendors the wedding is off and to book paying clients?
    Yes : (15 votes)
    26 %
    No : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Wait - If so how long should I wait? : (38 votes)
    67 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    As someone who is also a wedding planner, I totally feel for you.  They have put you in a very awkward position.

    I could go either way.  One, I definitely understand wanting to let the vendors know.  As a professional, your reputation could be compromised by holding the vendors for longer than necessary, especially as they are doing favors.

    Sigh.  I’ll keep your family in my thoughts.  I’m sure you’ll figure out the right thing to do!

    Post # 4
    1925 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I say wait a week. If they are still broken up by then, call the vendors.  However, I understand that your professional name is at sake, so it’s really your call. 

    Post # 5
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Ooh, what a position you are in. I’m so sorry. I voted to wait. I’d give them three days (say Friday at 5) and if EITHER of them say it’s a no-go, then let the vendors go. If they get back together, they can find other vendors, but just because one party is holding on to the hope that the wedding is on as planned, it takes 2 to get married. 

    Post # 6
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I wouldn’t make any decisions tonight, but I would definitely let them both know that you need to call the vendors ASAP if indeed their wedding is not going on as planned.  I doubt that it will go on, but you never know, I guess.

    I would suggest planning on canceling the vendors, but don’t do it immediately.  Give it a few days and unless they get to counseling asap, I would call and cancel.  Their relationship problems don’t need to become your professional ones, but you also don’t want to appear too hasty either.

    Sorry they put you in such an awkward position! 🙁

    Post # 7
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    That’s tough. :/

    I would say to give it a week or so. Just give yourself some sort of deadline like 10 days. If it’s still off, tell them both you are cancelling everything (so they can’t hold you accountable if they decide to stay together) and then do it. I don’t think a week or two will make a huge deal to the vendors in the long-run, but it could make a huge deal to the couple.

    As long as some sort of decision is made by Christmas I think you’re good. With all the Christmas-time/New Years engagements, those vendors will probably get lots of contacts right in the new year. If it’s not going to happen, at least a few of them can take on those new clients. My sentences make no sense today! Sorry. :/ Lol

    Post # 7
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’d wait as well.  Give them a week or so.  

    Post # 8
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Wow though call, but this is your job we’re talking about. Agree wit PPs wait a week or so before calling vendors.

    Post # 9
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    At this point I would wait exactly one week and I would  tell Brother-In-Law exactly that, they have one week to make a decision to continue or not.  Even a family member will understand that you have your business to protect.  I would feel aweful if I had hurt a family members business in any way, especially if it were my actions that caused the issue in the first place.

    Post # 10
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    That is your Brother-In-Law so I think you need to be clear and straightforward with him but if it were anyone else I would cancel right away.

    I think you should communicate to them that you are willing to wait for x amount of days (less than a week) for them to work out their problems and continue the wedding as planned otherwise it is off. Then you should have consequences like if it happens again their wedding will be cancelled without notice.

    EDIT: Also, put it in writing and make them sign something so they understand the seriousness of the situation! Scare tactics! LOL

    Post # 11
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Honestly, I would call the vendors and tell them it’s off.  She said it’s off, so it’s not YOUR fault if it ends up being back on.

    Post # 12
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I’d wait a week, or at least a couple of days. People make dramatic statements like “the wedding’s off!” in the heat of the moment.

    If you cancel everything now and they get back together tmrw, it would be hard for you to call in favours from your vendor friends again. Or, you may decide not to help them out anymore, and feel guilty.

    Post # 15
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @mwitter80: Fair enough, I understand your frustration.

    The topic ‘Feeling guilty that I’m mad, but I am’ is closed to new replies.

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