(Closed) Feeling homesick

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
579 posts
Busy bee

It’s absolutely normal to be like this. I was homesick my freshman year of college the first time I ever moved away and it was also 40 minutes.

It really helped to have a daily phone call with my mom since we’re very close. Overtime when I got busier, it became less and less, but at the beginning it was my life saver. We would still text throughout the day and that helped.

Do you have some girlfriends out there? If not I would suggest making some new friends! Does he have friends with wives or girlfriends? Do you have co-workers out there or do you have a friend of a cousin? Any lead on one person can lead into a huge new fun group. Just knowing there are people there to talk to and hang out with besides SO is also great.

Make the home a bit more your own! Maybe you guys get a new comforter, or some new pictures. Maybe adding your touch would make it feel more “yours”.

If you need anything don’t be afraid to reach out! It’s so bittersweet and I completely feel for you with the homesickness.

Post # 3
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Including uni, I’ve been away from home for seven years now and I still get homesick. There isn’t one definite thing that helps me but definitely what bluebee19 said. Don’t be afraid to admit to being homesick, maybe tell you boyfriend and ask him to take you somewhere in your new town. Getting to know the area helped me to feel less lost, so I used to drive around the area and see what I found (I  know some of the back roads better than my partner and it really annoys him haha).

Post # 4
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I know it sounds counter intuitive but when I first left home I made sure to stay away for a while (about 3/4 months in my case). I found that people I knew who went home within a few weeks had more trouble with homesickness as they never got passed the ‘missing home stage’ and into the ‘wow my new home is kinda awesome stage’.

I’d say get your boyfriend to plan fun trips for you to both do in the area over the weekends so you get to know the place better – and take loads of photos so when you do go home you can show them all the fun places you’ve been.  

I also found that concentrating on making the house look the way I (and my BF) wanted helped as I soon lived how cosy our home was and didn’t want to ever leave. Plus if your parents only live a little while away have them over every now and again to show them your new place. 

Post # 5
Member
669 posts
Busy bee

Force yourself to unpack and make the place your home ASAP. My sister gave me that advice and I didn’t listen when I moved out (about 3hr drive away) on my own. It made the process suck because the place felt empty and not like it was my own. Then I moved again (9 hr drive/1hr flight) and shortly after my DH moved to be with me, as soon as we found a place we took a budgeted amount and bought everything we need to make our place a home. You wouldn’t believe the difference that made. It’s difficult when you move into someone else’s place because you don’t want to move stuff around or change things up but you really need to put that aside and start adding your own touch to everything. Put up some photos, add some of your favorite pictures. Even pull out your favorite stuffed animal or blanket and throw it on the bed. My next piece of advice would be to teach your family how to video chat. I love Facetime on Apple products for this reason. My entire family has iphones/ipads (I even convinced my 75 year old grandparents to get an iphone) and the ability to video chat anywhere anytime makes such a difference. Like an amazing difference. Another thing that will help is when you feel like you need to go home, go home and visit. I wouldn’t do sleepovers just quite yet but I wouldn’t stress yourself out feeling like you can’t visit, your parents only live 40 minutes away. A lot of my friends had difficulties coping with the distance and they said they wished that they had booked flights earlier to go home than they did and don’t understand why they held out so long. Lastly, like some of the other pp’s have mentioned, invite your parents and friends over to see the new place. Living on your own for the first time is tough enough let alone living with another person in a new place and city. Give yourself some credit! 

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