(Closed) feeling hopeless, LONG

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

Are you in therapy?  If not, I can’t recommend it enough.  I have no relationship with my mother at all and an extremely minimal relationship with my father (they’re divorced).

It’s taken time but I am really, truly okay.  It wasn’t my choice to have no relationship, but it was my choice to establish healthy boundaries and to be okay with it when my mom could not respect them and chose to walk away entirely instead.  I know people say all the time ‘our parents are getting older, what happens if something happens to your mom etc…’ and my answer to that is that I’m at peace knowing no relationship is a million times healthier than one with no boundaries. I’m not saying that you have to  go to no contact with your parents, but a therapist can help you find those healthy boundaries.

As far as your BF, I can’t make  you promises but he sounds like a good guy and you are clearly taking steps to stand up to your family, so I wouldn’t worry about him leaving over this.

Post # 17
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply

My advice is to read this book ASAP (it saved my life from a toxic family member):
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life  
by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author)  

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