- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
Bees, I’m feeling emotional right now. I need to know if what I’m feeling is “okay”. I’ll keep it short.
I have another friend who is getting married. I would consider her to be one of my closest friends; she has expressed similar sentiments to me. Now, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was more than happy to do so. She sent out an email introducing all of us (the rest of her bridesmaids) to each other. I noticed that she had a newer friend on there. I didn’t think anything of it.
Cue today. After taking her out to lunch and going bridal gown shopping with her she tells me that she is very sorry but that she had forgotten that she asked her sister-in-law to be her bridesmaid soon after she had gotten engaged. Since I was the last person that she asked, she has (apologetically) told me that I will no longer be a bridesmaid.
She told me that she was very sorry and please don’t be mad.
Well, I’m not mad. Not even a little bit, actually. But I’m incredibly hurt. I think part of it is that the “newer” friend still has bridesmaid status and while I would never consider myself to be a jealous friend, I have to admit, a small, ugly, part of me that I’m trying desperately to quell is upset because I guess I thought I had “seniority”, despite being the last person she happened to ask.
I reacted really well when she broke the news to me, but I was honest and told her that I was hurt, but that I’d eventually get over it. Which is theoretically true, yes, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve been passed up for a number. She wanted x number of bridesmaids, and I’m not a good enough friend for her to sacrifice for the sake of aesthetics…?
We left on solid terms, but I can’t help but want to cry. I had a hard enough time keeping it together and pasting on a smile when we said good-bye.
Is it okay for me to feel really betrayed? I understand that part of it is appeasing family–she is her sister-in-law, after all. But I guess I have a hard time swallowing this pill, Bees.