(Closed) Feeling hurt and betrayed by another bride

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.  Mine would be, too.  I hope you will forgive her in time.  It wasn’t the best thing she could’ve done.

Post # 4
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would be feeling the exact same way! I don’t see how a bride to be could “forget” who she asked to be her bridesmaids? It’s totally ok for you to be feeling betrayed.

Post # 5
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@levisrictusias:  It’s absolutely ok for you to feel betrayed.  It was pretty tasteless on her part to ask you to step down as a bridesmaid because she couldn’t keep track of how many people she had already asked.  I’m sorry she did that to you =(

Post # 6
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You have every right to be hurt, and this person is not a good friend.  She is more concerned about using her bridesmaids as photo props than hurting your feelings.  I wouldn’t be attending the wedding and that friendship would be over.  Trust me – I’m 40 and life’s too short to put up with that kind of bullshit from people.  She’s done you a favor by showing you her true colors now.

Post # 7
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, I would totally be upset. Way mean. It’s a lame reason, and if I were you I’d be really upset and cry a lot at lots of people.

Post # 8
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Its okay to feel hurt – my feelings would be extremely hurt too.  It sounds like you were very excited to be part of her wedding and then kinda got your dreams crushed.  Maybe it would make you feel better to call your mom or another friend and have a good cry about it.  I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you feel better soon!

Post # 9
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, I would feel like crap.  What she did was pretty shitty.  I’m sorry this happened.  Bright side: less stress for your wedding now that you don’t have to worry about hers.

Post # 10
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would defnitely be upset. My Fiance originaly told me he was going to have 1 Best Man and 2 Groomsmen. So I asked my sis to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and my SIL and Cousin to be my 2 BMs. Then Fiance tells me he is only having one groomsmen. I am so OCD and the thought of having uneven sides annoys me, but I would never tell one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man to step down. I would also never force my Fiance to have another Groomsmen just because I want numbers even. So I am just going to go with it and be happy.

Post # 11
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hurt, upset, even mad…yes, that’s ok. I don’t agree that it’s enough to end a friendship over. It’s good that you kept your cool! Have a good cry and get back to your wedding…I think you’ll get over it eventually, but sometimes you just need to let yourself feel the sting for a minute. 

Post # 12
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Of course you are upset! Who wouldn’t be? I agree, her excuse was pretty lame. I hope you feel better soon!

Post # 13
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@oneofthesethings:   +1.

This is ridiculous. I am not sure I would even go to the wedding, honestly.

Post # 14
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I would definitely feel upset! Is your friend normally absentminded like this? I would think back on this friendship. If she’s been a good friend other than this, I would still participate in events that you receive an invitation (shower, bachelorette party, etc.), but I wouldn’t go the extra mile for these things. After all, that is the role of a bridesmaid, and if she asked you to step down from that, then she doesn’t need your extra effort with those events. It sounds harsh, but I think you also need to protect yourself, too.

Post # 15
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Aww, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this!! That’s such a sucky situation. You’re definitely justified to feel hurt/upset. Get a good cry done and then just try to still be a good friend to this girl. It was a crappy thing for her to do, and I think if you “kill her with kindness” she will eventually see that she made a mistake. Of course that won’t really matter because this “newer girl” will still be in the wedding, but at least she’ll realize what a rockstar bridesmaid she lost. 

Bleh. *hugs*!!

Post # 16
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 1998

First off- I don’t think you’re being too sensitive at all! Second, this may come back to bite your friend in the rear-end later. I had a friend do this when she only asked one “new” friend to be her one and only bridesmaid at her wedding and snubbed all of her older friends (many of us had known her since childhood). Soon after the wedding she got in a big fight with her friend and they stopped speaking to each other. 

Maybe it was an omen of things to come. She split from her husband six months later. Ouch. 

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