- 5 years ago
Sorry for the typos!!!!
Sorry for the typos!!!!
I think I might agree with your fiancé regarding 3 and 4. At least get back to someone and wish her well.
I completely understand how you feel. I do, however, think it’s too late (and not necessary) to kick anyone out of the bridal party. I also was very disappointed by a lack of response for my bachelorette party (I posted about it on here lol), but what’s most important is that you are getting married and I’m assuming that since they’re bridesmaids they’ll all be at your wedding. I would definitely be upset about the Vegas thing, but just try not to focus on that girl as much and hopefully she’ll come around and be supportive for your wedding.
however, i think expecting people to fly or take long bus or train rides for one night of inexpensive, local dinner and penis games at home seems like a bit much. IMO, traveling to Vegas is quite different, people are willing to spend the money and travel to places like that. & from what I read of your posts, it sounds like you didn’t really make a big deal out of your bachelorette party, so maybe, neither did they?
I will agree with you though, although it’s not “required wedding protocol” they could have sent a well wish, a regret, or a cute note though. If I were you, I’d let it go and focus on the important thing here – marrying the love of your life!
Don’t listen to the other bees who act like it’s wrong to have expectations of friends and birdesmaids. I would be bummed if I was in your situation, too. You’re not expecting everyone to drop their lives to bend to your every whim, you just want them to make an effort and to show that they care. After all, that’s what friendship is (and that’s what being a bridesmaid is)! It’s not the fact that they didn’t attend the party, it’s that they didn’t let you know they were sorry they couldn’t attend, didn’t call you after to see how it went, and aren’t making an effort to be involved in wedding stuff. Your feelings are totally valid.
That being said, I think it’s super drastic to “fire” your BMs or start any drama over this. I say just try to let it go and focus on all the positivity going on.
I didn’t go to an ex-friend’s bachelorette party (it’s a whole shit-storm story), and she was so resentful about me not going for a legitimate reason, that it bordered on being childish.
I’m not a bar-goer, I don’t drink. Why do I need to go to a party where I will literally get no enjoyment out of it, just so some bride can feel special? I think you need to lighten up. People have lives, and they are not required as bridesmaids to come to your bachelorette party. I think you’re putting WAY too much importance on such a silly concept.
I think that considering they’re all out of state, you’re being way too hard on them for not attending an optional wedding party. ‘It’s only a short plane ride’. I know it’s way cheaper in the States, but you’re still talking probably $100 each way. In Canada flying a province over can run you $300 each way.
Sorry, i couldn’t get passed “I should fire”. What do you mean, fire? They are not your employees and dont “work” for you. I didn’t know Bridesmaid or Best Man is a position to be “hired” for.
The other thing that really stood out from your post to me is that you wish they’d just backed-out of being bridesmaids instead of letting you down and, well, I think I can safely say that a LOT of bees here have been asked to be a bridesmaid when they really didn’t want to be one at some point in their life and can attest to what a tricky situation that is.
No one wants to be the bad guy and say no because that’s one of those things that potentially ruins friendships, so I would say cut these girls some slack and just be more clear about your expectations with them moving forward.
Maybe you can do a bachelorette party re-do when they’re all in town for the wedding? We did that for a girlfriend of mine when her Future Mother-In-Law invited herself to the “official” bachelorette party and we had to keep it super tame, so literally 2 nights before the wedding we all took her to a strip club and got her ripped, hehe.
I also agree however that you shouldn’t “fire” anyone from your bridal party. As much as your feelings are hurt, and it sucks, don’t let that overshadow the fact that you are getting married! Good luck to you.
“however, i think expecting people to fly or take long bus or train rides for one night of inexpensive, local dinner and penis games at home seems like a bit much. IMO, traveling to Vegas is quite different, people are willing to spend the money and travel to places like that. & from what I read of your posts, it sounds like you didn’t really make a big deal out of your bachelorette party, so maybe, neither did they?”
Not sure if this is what you meant but how I read this is you are suggesting I should’ve told my BMs I wanted an elaborate bachelorette party and if I had then my bm would’ve came to mine (at least the one who could afford to go to vegas). I would’ve LOVED to go to vegas or something like that, I just thought it would be rude to expect my girls to pay for something like that so I would never ask for that or be ungrateful for a low-key night.
If the bm who went to vegas bachelorette (again she wasn’t a bm for that one) instead of mine wasn’t a bridesmaid for mine then I could understand your point. But given that she accepted being a bridesmaid for mine, why couldn’t she have suggested something a little more elaborate for mine if she didn’t want to come for just a local night? Pretty sure the reason it was so low key anyway was because three of my bridesmaids couldn’t afford to do anything more only split 3 way. (And yes I did offer to pay my own way).
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