(Closed) Feeling inferior: FI has substantially more for a house

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Bee
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence

Mr. D and I briefly looked into buying a house a few years ago. He would have ended up contributing the larger portion of money but we would have been riding on my credit. He’s going to be your husband! It’s okay!

I totally get the feeling of not wanting to be taken care of, or feeling like you’re unworthy, but he’s buying into your future together.

Post # 4
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

You said yourself that he is 6 years older than you and works full time while you are unemployed at the moment.  You can’t expect to have as much in savings because you are in two totally different situations.

Plus – if a large chunk of his money is from an inheritance, it wasn’t through anything that he did that was “better” than you.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sure you do. You’re marrying this man which makes you a team. He’s obviously okay with the contribution that you can make so you should be too. After you’re married there’s no “mine” and “yours”, it’s all “ours”. Don’t stress out about it. Just be happy that his inheritance is allowing you such financial freedom. A lot of people aren’t that lucky. 

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

combining finances totally took some getting used to – but you do get used to it and eventually you will not feel that way anymore. When we first got married I felt very much the same way. I’ve always found pride in being independent and not having to rely on someone financially and while I worked, he still made triple my salary and honestly i was worried about spending money especially knowing he could see every transaction i made. A year later i’ve totally gotten used to it. It doesnt feel like “his” or “mine” anymore…its strictly ours.

 

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