(Closed) Feeling insecure about our daytime wedding reception (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 32
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Mode:  I would think of it as a brunch reception– which is actually what i wanted! my Darling Husband wanted a night reception so I compromised on that with him but I LOVE BRUNCH and I really wanted to do what you’re doing! I bet people will drunk if you use the “brunch” word. I’m going to a brunch reception this spring and I am planning on dancing.

Post # 33
Member
47339 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Mode:  In the real world, most couples do not get everything they want for their wedding. Almost all of us have budgets.

Make a conscious choice to stop second guessing yourself, move on and enjoy the wedding you will have.

Post # 35
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I went to an amazing daytime wedding. I think it depends on your guests and the vibe that you want to set, but there was just as much drinking and dancing at this daytime wedding as any evening wedding I have been to. So what if it ends at 4PM, people are still celebrating your wedding and your marriage and will want to have a good time.  And no need to formally orgainze an after party, just have a meet-up spot or bar and it should be fine.

I do agree with previous posters and that you may want to nix the open bar.  Depending on price, it might be easier to host only beer and wine or pay per drink if you are worried people will not drink a lot.

Post # 36
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Mode:  I had a daytime wedding on Long Island.  Ceremony started at 12, cocktail hour 12:30-1:30 then reception till 5:30.  Everything was amazing.  We had an open bar and I would say half the people there were drunk and most people were dancing the whole time.  We also had plenty of daylight to take pictures.  Don’t worry.  Everything will be great.  

Post # 37
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly – you can’t make everyone happy. And I LOVE that you are trying so hard. But honestly – knock it off. SmileYou and Fiance are footing the bill right? So host the wedding YOU want to host. Make it a little smaller if you want, host it at night, and maybe host in on a Friday evening? But stop trying to please everyone, but it’ll never work. It sounds like a daytime wedding doesn’t feel right to you. So scratch it.

Post # 38
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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@Mode:  I totally feel ya on your concerns. I’m planning my wedding in the NYC area and yes Sat. night weddings are freaking expensive. I will also be doing an afternoon wedding, e.g. ceremony at 11:00 with cocktail hour and reception lasting until 5:00.  Not really by choice though, as almost all the venues in northern NJ will only allow Sat. night for min. 175-200 ppl and we are only having 100-125 ppl. I don’t think many ppl from outside the area understand why a Sat. night isn’t financially feasible.

 

Here’s what I’m doing to alleviate the daytime wedding thing.

 

1. Book hotel rooms nearby for myself and the bridal party so it’s easier to get up super early for hair and make-up.

 

2. Reception ballroom will be kept dark with colored lighting to make it seem like evening time where people might get more into the dancing mood.

 

3. We are having 5 hrs open bar, full cocktail hour and dinner with app, entree, wedding cake + dessert so it doesn’t seem like we’re skimping out on food.

 

Not sure why you’re getting implied complaints from people about a daytime wedding. Most of my friends were on board with daytime! And inevitably there is travel involved with attending weddings. Don’t let your FI’s family get you down just because they have to drive several hours. I don’t get what the problem is with paying for a Friday night hotel stay if they didn’t want to drive in the morning.

 

Post # 39
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Mode: right across the river from you, Maritime Parc.  I know a lot of poeple have suggested closing the windows at your venue but the views are spectacular and I don’t think a little sun light will stop anyone from dancing!

Post # 40
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think you could cut your bar down- are you doing a brunch menu? Bloody marys and mimosas, and maybe limited beer/wine selections should be fine.

I love the idea that you could do some fantastic photos around Manhattan in your wedding dress. People LOVE brides…Seriously. We had a first look, and did some awesome shots around the hotel, and I loved the responses we got from people on the street. 🙂

Every wedding is inconvenient to some of the guests, regardless of where/when it is. (I used to work every weekend, so Friday weddings were better for me than Saturday). Some of your guests may choose to make a long weekend out of it. We get hotels for most weddings we attend which are too far to cab to, just so we don’t have to decide on a Dear Daughter. Your PA guests can avoid getting a hotel if they chose to- you’re not asking anyone to get up any earlier than you are.

Post # 41
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@BrandNewBride:  +1 on beer, wine and mimosas. I don’t think you need to do an open bar for a daytime wedding.

I’m not sure if there’s outdoor space, but maybe set up some lawn games for people who don’t want to dance?

Post # 42
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Hey there! We are having a daytime wedding too, this coming January. Full Catholic mass ceremony at 10am, reception from 11:30am-4pm. Some people were surprised at the start time and the unusual month, and I’m sure the full mass won’t be too popular with some, but nobody gave us a hard time (to our faces anyway, lol). There was a time when I was a little insecure about it, but not anymore!

Depending on what’s acceptable in your social circle, I would consider doing just hosted wine and beer. We saved about $2000 not hosting liquor.

We are having the cocktail hour with the blinds and curtains pulled back, but they will be drawn and the chandeliers dimmed when the festvities start. In addition, we got a discount on the uplighting package, so the purple and gold accents will add a cozier ambience for the dancing.

I reserved a block of rooms with a group discount at the nearby hotel for the night before.

Honestly though, just keep your perspective 🙂 I know that people who want to celebrate with us will. Our wedding day will be lovely, but will not go perfectly, we won’t please everyone, and it by far won’t be the best day of our lives. We’ve got decades more for that, and honestly we’ve had some pretty awesome days already! I’m marrying the love of my life that day, and that’s the most important thing. Smile

Post # 43
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Dancing totally depends on the crowd. You and your family will set the tone and make it a dance party. Think about it…people go to daytime music festivals and dance all the time. A few beers always helps! 🙂

I’ve been to nighttime weddings where hardly anyone danced because the couple didn’t really like dancing and people followed suit. I’ve been to daytime weddings where the dance floor was packed because it was a dance-y crowd. Even at my cousin’s non-alcoholic, 2 p.m. reception, you could barely drag people OFF the dance floor because their DJ was awesome and had my cousin leading conga lines through the joint.

Post # 44
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Mine will be in the afternoon, Wedding after 12, reception till 5 or something like that! I am having an open bar. We also have beer, wine, and soft drinks included. Everything is much cheaper because it is a lunch instead of dinner! We will have dancing. Not evryone will drink or dance, but that is not the point. We have to do what is best for us and our budgets, and so should you. Folks usually keep their mouths shut when they get free food and drinks! Don’t worry about it too much…

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