Feeling Let Down by Proposal

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Hey Bee sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Just an FYI- you might want to changed the title of this post “jipped” comes from “jip” / “gyp” which is a racist slur typically used against Romani Gypsies and / or Irish Travellers – both minority ethnic groups implying that they are dishonest/steal/trick people etc.

Post # 3
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Ignoring the ring/proposal issue – are you actually happy together in your relationship now?

You kinda brushed over that whole ‘he didn’t want to be with me but then I got pregnant so it’s all better now’. Having babies doesn’t normally solve relationship problems so, are you guys actually good now? If not and you’re just settling for each other then you have bigger problems than the ring. 

If I’m overthinking your post and the relationship is good then I would just tell him you love the sentiment of the original ring, but you need something more practial day to day as this ring snags your clothes and scratches your children. That is plenty fair enough imo. 

Also I agree with PP but I don’t think OP is able to edit the title, only the post contents. Maybe a mod can do it. 

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Your partner decided to “stomach” you rather than breaking up, and you end up having 2 babies with him, rather than breaking up with him.

It sounds like he doesn’t even like you, and here you are complaining about a piece of jewelry. It sounds like he proposed out of obligation.

The problem is not the ring.

Post # 5
Member
818 posts
Busy bee

Jip is used in UK for giving someone cheek or of something/someone is playing you up…. Like, my knee is giving me jip. 

 

Post # 6
Member
650 posts
Busy bee

You should feel ripped off for having stayed with someone who could merely “stomach” you.  But you did that to yourself. 

If, to you, an extravagant, fabulous proposal made up for marrying someone completely wrong for you, then this should pretty easy to get over….give it time, you’ll be fine.  Or, an actual problem will eventually take its place and then you’ll have something else to focus on.

Post # 7
Member
846 posts
Busy bee

Oh bee, I’m sorry you feel this way but think about it. You’ve enabled a pattern of low expectations with this relationship, including incredibly and irresponsibly low standards for having a kid with someone. Then suddenly you decided to have unrealistic expectations with the proposal and ring. 

The ring and proposal would not be my primary concerns at all. I hope you and your fiancé are able to build a secure emotional and financial foundation for your kids. 

Post # 8
Member
617 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@MeandYou:  Just being a term is used commonly does not mean it doesn’t have racial origins. 

Post # 9
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Were you expecting a thoughtful proposal because in the back of your mind it would prove to you once and for all that you fiancé really wants to be with you and isn’t just there because you have kids/he hasn’t met anyone better? If not and it’s really just about the ring then you will probably stop caring in time. The reason I ask is that  the majority of this post seems to be devoted to how your fiancé didn’t really want to be with you.

Post # 12
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m Romanian. It’s fine. Stop reporting the title please. 

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