(Closed) Feeling kind of bummed

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh – I can relate 100%!!!! When Fiance first talked about getting married, I wanted a destination wedding or have a very low key rustic vintage-inspired wedding with just family and close friends.  His mom refuses to travel, so we opted to have the wedding in our hometown.  I was determined to keep everything under 10k and made A LOT of research.  I was super excited at the challenge of have our 10k wedding. When I was finally ready to book the venue and caterer, Fiance had a change of heart and decided he wanted a fancy wedding in a hotel!  I was completly crushed.  We had to double our budget.  We can afford to but I just don’t see the point of spending so much and feel like a total sell-out! I felt the pressure from Fiance and family to organize this big affaire. I gave in and let Fiance had his venue but I was determined to still keep the cost down on the rest of the stuff.  Most of our wedding is DIY and I’m happy with that because not only it allows us to control our spending, it also allows me to personalize our wedding so that I can still have my vintage-inspired wedding.

My advice is to find a way to still organize something that appeals to you and to not focus too much on the money spent (especially if you can afford it). Focus your energy on the details that are important to you.  Try to still create what you were looking for when you wanted your DIY wedding.  Spending more money doesn’t mean you have to let go of what is important to you.

Good luck with your planning 😉

Post # 4
Member
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My advice is something that might be hard for you to do…  but it’s definitely relevant. 

If someone wants to invite someone that you have not met, are not close to, or would otherwise not invite, then they need to pay for that person.  My parents wanted to invite 20 of their friends and they paid for their per head cost.  Truthfully it is only fair.

Post # 5
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry you got guilted into inviting so many people!  Remember- not everyone will make it, so you may “luck out” and have closer to what you were wanting.

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry to hear that happened. My dad and me were actually discussing how lucky I am that I don’t know all my own family, my grandma is one of 13 kids, all married now with kids and grandkids of their own…I was wanting a small wedding only 100 ppl, unfortunately FIs family is just too big and we went over that, but only by 30 people, if i had to invite all my relatives that i don’t know we would never have been able to afford it.

Post # 10
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ninjachc:  I just wouldn’t have done it.  Boom.  Is there any way you can *not* send them invitations?  I’m not sure if you’ve sent out STD’s, etc.  I’ve been getting alot of negative feedback for having a smaller wedding, but I care more about my fiance and myself and our budget then others’ feelings (on the flip side, I have a harder time dealing with emotions, mine or others’.)  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ninjachc:  yes “wedding porn” will make you second-guess everything you do!  I feel the same way.  I see things people can do with a penny and ask myself why it cost me 1$!  Don’t stress yourself with that.  We all go through it.  As for your dress, think of ways you can personalized it with jewelery and accessories.  Think of the whole package rather than just the dress alone.  My dress is fairly simple, but I made a big statement necklace to go with it.  Now I can’t wait for the final look.

I agree with @Schatzie821:  if your family is insisting on inviting people, let them pay for these guests.  It won’t make you popular but it works (my mom drastically cut her guestlist when I told her she would have to pay for them).

Post # 13
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yeah I feel you.  People keep asking and I feel bad so I say yes.  But nothing is hard set… I haven’t even sent invitations yet.  If I cannot fit these people in, I just can’t.  A verbal yes is not an invitation.  I have to think about my budget.  I just cannot risk going into debt or coming up short for people I didn’t really want at my wedding to begin with.

Post # 15
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe you should through a jack and jill  –

its like an engagment party but you charge eiter an entrance fee or do a raffel

also you’ll get money as gifts so hopefully that can help.

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