(Closed) What am I doing wrong?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Have invites already been sent out?  If not I would figure out what the ideal guest size would be for your budget, and from there figure out how many people your parents can have while leave room for your people and Father-In-Law family.  After that ask your mom to cut down her list to the most important in that size.  You can always use a B-List if more people RSVP no.  

If there’s no way to cut it down, breathe! it’ll be ok.  It looks like there’s travelling involved?  My DHs fam and all our friend were from the opposite side of the country, so we had a much lower rsvp yes rate than 75%.

Post # 4
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If the invites have not been sent out yet, you need to do some list cutting. Since your parents are paying for half, they should get a signifiant amount. You have to decide what that cutoff is with both of them, but be firm. Is Fiance family contributing? Do you have lots of friends coming?

Cuts definitely need to be made or you are going to have a breakdown because there are lots of last minute expenses you’re probably not even going to consider until they pop up.

Post # 5
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Make your mom make a 65 person B-List from her list. Tell them that, if she’s right and 75% of people say they aren’t coming, then all of the B-List will be invited. If she resists, let her know that it’s about money and if she wants to have everyone on the A-List, she’s welcome to pay for the extra guests.

Post # 6
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

200 people is a crazy amount of people, to me, for a parent to be able to invite to a party that isn’t even celebrating them. Do you even know all of those people? I think you should make some serious cuts, especially if they aren’t paying for the whole thing!

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I thought my parent were going overboard but that takes the cake. I agree with britishbroccoli. 

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with PP, you need to cut the guestlist. Tell your mom that she can invite only XXX number of people and let her cut the list however she wants. She gets a say in the guestlist because she’s contributing, but that doesn’t mean she can invite the vast majority of guests and force you to go overbudget.

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