(Closed) Feeling like I have no choice but to be bridezilla…and I hate it. (mini rant)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

rant away girl, that’s what we’re here for!  wedding planning is stressful! but at the same time, i’ve kinda learn the attitude in life and wedding planning, if you want things to get done, do it yourself.  can’t change other people, but you can change your own attitude. but for sure i understand where you coming from.  it’s your WEDDING! once in a lifetime event and surely someone can help out here and there, especially FAMILY!  but i guess for some people, it’s “just” a wedding. <3

Post # 4
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@fresitachulita:  At this point, you are in crunch time. Six months before the wedding is when time goes faster.

You need to go ahead and plan this yourself dear one. Your parents do not understand so it’s time to take the proverbial bull by the horn.

Set aside the time to set up hotel blocks because you may have to sign contracts for it.

All brides go through this. I’m sorry :(.  In the end, I had to plan the wedding myself and keep details secret because my female family members were giving me hell over my choice of wedding decor.

It will all work out! Just set aside about a hour a day to call and make plans. It can be done. I planned my wedding working two jobs.

Post # 5
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fresitachulita:  Oh no I’m so sorry. I can’t even fathom how much stress you’re going through.

I agree with the PPs though, you’re gonna have to do this yourself. That’s the only way you can ensure the job gets done. Don’t get dragged into stressful crunch time because of your parents’ procrastinating.

I’m praying for you, sending hugs your way.

Post # 6
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

omg. If you are 5-6 months out, I’d say it’s time to get doin’ it yourself. Which is a total shame, because someone should want to help you!

I refused to start planning 9+ months out. We really didn’t start planning until ….last month. But now I am crunched and stressed out. My fiance works long hours, so all the meetings, bookings and scheduling is done just by me. I thought I had all this time…and suddenly it is going by very fast. My parents live 2 hours away so it is hard to have my mom help me with things that need booked where I live, you know?

Honestly, when I realized that I was planning most of this on my own, I made a gigantic list of EVERYTHING that needed done and just picked a small thing from the list and got started. I carry a calendar in my purse and I write everything in it, from meetings to when paperwork is due to the venue. I would book the rooms asap, though. I put this task off b/c I thought it would be a long process and it actually was very easy.

Get through exam week, first, and then start wedding planning. Screw everyone else that refuses to help you. You can do it, and on that day, when everything looks great and runs smoothly due to your hard work, they can eat it. I’m sorry noone is helping you, I understand where you are coming from. Vent here, ask a ton of questions, we will help you!

Post # 7
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sorry you are so overwhelmed!! Try to take it one step at a time and as PP’s said set aside some time very day to deal with a specific task. It is tough to plan a wedding when you have exams and lots of stuff going on! But you are an adult, it is your wedding and your responsibility so no one HAS to help you, sure it would be nice if they did but you should not expect it. Please don’t be horrible to people, it won’t help, it will make them less likely to help you and you more frustrated because you don’t want to be mean. It is stressful but try to see the big picture – you are marrying your love and it will all come together if you take it a little bit every day! Good luck!

Post # 8
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its sucks that you are overwhelmed but at this point if I were you I would just plan on doing it yourself. Your wedding will seem most important to you. I know if I were a parent with a daughter getting amrried I would try help the best I could but have a lot of other important things on my plate too.

Post # 10
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What a nightmare. I’m so sorry that they’re overwhelmed and that you are overwhelmed too! I’m not familiar with the details of your wedding, but…are you having any attendants? If so, maybe see if your bridesmaids and maid of honor could do some of the research on this. Similarly, I’m not sure of your relationship with your FI’s family — but if it’s pretty good, or even if you’d like to get closer to them, maybe ask for help from them? Explaining that your folks are swamped with family stuff, and that if they had any time to look into X or do X, it would mean so much to you…I bet that they might even be flattered that you asked.

Hope this helps and/or that things get better for you!

Post # 11
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly, if you know that your family is unreliable, the best thing is just to do it yourself. At the end of the day you will know that the things you need will be in place.

Post # 12
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I can understand that you’re overwhelmed, and it would certainly be nice of them to help, but it is your wedding, not theirs. They aren’t OBLIGATED to help you.

I know you said your FH works a lot, but he should still be helping more than it sounds like he is.

I know this is probably just a rant, and I hope that your family starts helping out more because you’re right, it IS a lot of work for one person, but at the same time I feel like you can’t really act entitled to their help, you know?

Post # 13
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry that you are so over whelmed and it sucks that your parents aren’t able to help you.  However, this is your and your FI’s wedding and you are the only 2 people who should be planning it.  You shouldn’t expect or demand anyone else to help you.  So please, please, please don’t be mean to them.  You can ask for help, but if they are too busy, then they are too busy. It certainly does suck though.

Anyway, I hope this rant got it all out of your system.  As PPs have mentioned, make a list and just work your way through it.  And there are a lot of people here that can help answer questions.  You can do it!

Post # 14
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You should plan your own wedding.  If others offer to help, that is a great bonus, but I wouldn’t rely on anyone else.

Post # 15
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Can you hire a planner?  That’s pretty much what they’re for.

Post # 16
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

It’s hard when people don’t meet your expectations.  I think a lot of people think wedding planning with bring them closer to their parents (esp their mothers) and it doesn’t always happen.

You want your parents involved, but you don’t need them involved.  You can do this.  But as and educator, I think you need to put this on the back burner until exam week is over.  Then, you can tackle one task per day.  You’ll get much further and feel far more accomplished if you do that than if you try to chase down your parents, who don’t seem to be in a place where they can meet your expectations.


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