(Closed) feeling like I’m at a dead end

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

not sure what your stats are, ages, length of dating, timeline or no timeline? engagement talks?

but ive been there, you only wish they want it as much as you do. getting engaged shouldnt be so hard, and its normally not. hope your guys gets it together .*cyber hugs* 🙂

Post # 5
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

@Waterfall:  you’re not alone in that thinking. Hope you’re OK… x

Post # 6
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I feel the same way..almost to the point of feeling like I’m too old to get married. I’m not really, but just like, what’s the point at this point in time??

Post # 7
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

after looking over your post history, i really think youve been fighting an uphill battle over the engagement issue and your guy is winning, youve broken up over it, he told you he has doubts, he doesnt like talking about it, and youre majorly stressing yourself out over this, over 4 yrs together and he hasnt asked. all signs point to he is not ready :/ if a man wants to marry you nothing will stop him, sorry youre going through this, maybe a break is needed.

 

Post # 8
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I read some of your past posts as well–he just turned 21, he may still very well love you but 21 is seriously VERY young for most men to commit to something like marriage.

In the meantime, can you appreciate that most other women your age are still single and at least you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with??

Post # 9
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Dell79:  i totally missed his age, that xplains alot now. 21 is far too young. i can see why hes not ready now.

Post # 10
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

Whoa. I also agree 21 is way too young to get married.

If you’ve been together for four years, then that means he was 17 when he met you. If I had a son who was 21 and had been dating the same girl for four years, I would want him to make sure his education and career were in order before getting married. I think when couples meet at such a young age, it’s a really good idea to wait until at least age 23 or 24 or even 25 before tying the knot. You have your whole lives ahead of you, there’s no need to rush.

Post # 11
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

i’m sorry but i have to agree, 21 is really young for a guy. my guy’s still a baby at 24 and even he gets a bit funny about being ‘too young’.

unfortunately, most women get excited about marriage at a young age, and men tend to think they’ll be ready for marriage and kids by the time they’re 30. when a guy gets in a relationship at a young age and realises this will probably happen quite a few years before he’d always thought – it can make them freak out a bit.

age is a massive factor in this. if you had met when you were 30, i’d say he was dragging his feet after 4 years. but at 21 i can totally understand it.

the question is, do you want to be married to HIM? or just be married? because if you guys were to break up, it would take a similar length of time for another guy to be ready – and in that time, your current Boyfriend or Best Friend could want to take that step!

i think sometimes being on WeddingBee as a waiting bee can throw too much ‘weddings, marriage, babies!!’ in your face and it gives you another reason to focus on it.

maybe taking a break is a good thing – and you can focus on other things for now until he is ready.

*hugs* x

Post # 12
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

This is really tough. I would agree that maybe 90% of men are not really ready to be settling down and getting engaged at 21. my Fiance and I are 21/22, but we are the first of our friends to get engaged, and I know of maybe only 4 couples who have gotten engaged. just give it more time!

Post # 13
Member
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’ve felt that way and understand.  It’s a miserable feeling.

 

I do, however, have to agree that 21 is quite young for marriage.  Now’s the time to ENJOY the fact that you’re not married, and go out and tank risks and have adventures that you won’t be able to have once you’ve tied the knot.  I wish I’d taken more advantage of these sorts of things when I was younger.  Now I’m at the age where I need to work and start earning money and ready to settle down.

Post # 15
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Waterfall:  That may be, and you may want to take a break from him and break up with him at some point (which is completely normal!) But I encourage you to stay on the bee. We will be here to support you through the difficult times that may be ahead, and we will do so without judgment. 

The topic ‘feeling like I’m at a dead end’ is closed to new replies.

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