(Closed) Feeling like our wedding doesn't matter..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You know that getting pregnant can be a toss-up sometimes, right? Like, you can try for months and nothing happens and then suddenly it does (or conversely, you plan to start trying and realise it’s going to take months, but it happens right away). I doubt they planned it this way…

Post # 4
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

While I understand there may be other family feelings and experiences wrapped up in this, it seems unlikely that they somehow planned to upstage you on your day by having a baby a week before. If I were you, I would just tell them you’d love to see them on your wedding day if they can make it, but you understand if they can’t. And then drop the issue.

Post # 5
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I know you just want to vent but this seems a little crazy. Of course your wedding matters, but she’s bringing a child into the world. She may have been trying to get pregnant for months. There’s no way to plan something like this. 

Post # 7
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry your feeling that way

Post # 8
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Seriously? You expect someone to put off a human life to better suit your own wants? That’s not kosher any way you can possibly look at it!!!It does not affect your wedding in any way, it will not take away your thunder, it has nothing to do with you in the least. 

Post # 9
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I just reread your post and they initially mentioned Feb/March before you had actually set your date anyway. It could be that they had reasons for wanting to have a baby around that time (just as an example, depending where you live, it can be much more comfortable to be pregnant in the winter).

It’s totally okay to feel frustrated about how things turned out, because of course you want everything to be perfect and to go as planned. But honestly, this won’t be the only bump in the road in terms of wedding planning, and it does at least mean you get a new niece or nephew out of it, which is nice.

Post # 11
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i really hope that you did a much better job of congratulating them on her pregnancy than you wrote here. read it back. it sounds as though you said immediately ‘well that wasn’t very good timing, and Fiance said well we’ll still be partying on whether you’re there or not. They understood and there was no bad feelings.’

let me tell you – if someone had THAT to say to me after me sharing the news of my pregnancy, i would probably put a smile on and pretend something really rotten hadn’t been said and then think ‘wtf was THAT!’ imagine if someone said that to you in a few years, if you were excited about being pregnant… yikes.

as everyone already said, they had been planning on getting pregnant and why on earth should they have to wait months as you said; when there’s no guarantee of getting pregnant month to month?

i would take it all in, count to ten, and then never voice that you think that they were somehow in bad taste to get pregnant at this time to anyone ever again.

Post # 12
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kittyface:  Agreed! 

@motionless:   “Anyway in January this year Future Sister-In-Law was talking about having another baby in Feb/March 2013, I told her we were thinking of getting married in late March, but at that stage we hadn’t set the date as yet.”

I would try no to let it upset you. They did inform you BEFORE you set your wedding date that they were trying/going to conceive. In my opinion, I would ask her to do a reading at your wedding that way she doesn’t feel left out. If she can’t make it at least you were thoughtful enough to include her. 

Post # 13
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, iarebridezilla & co. will flip on this.

But, are you kidding me?!?!?!

Why should she have waited to create human life for your wedding?!?!?

Sister, you’ve got some serious nerve.

Post # 14
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@motionless:  A lot of couple’s have trouble conceiving and there is no guarentee as to when the conception will occur, unlike a wedding where you can actually decide the date. Congratulations on your wedding, but don’t hold your Future Sister-In-Law pregnancy against her!

Post # 16
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

As someone who has had many friends and family go through fertility issues, I am shocked to have read what you wrote.  Even if she did not have any problems conceiving, you have an awful lot of nerve to even think that your wedding takes precedence over everyone else’s lives.

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