(Closed) Feeling like registries were a waste of time…

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wow, that sounds terrible.  I’m sorry your guests wasted your time.

Post # 4
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

aw, that’s too bad. we have a pretty big registry since we’re pretty much starting out with nothing. so far everyone’s been pretty good about purchasing off of it, but even tho we’ve gotten a lot of gifts so far, there’s still a lot of stuff we’re missing. i’ve gotten mostly kitchen stuff (my dishes were buy 1, get 1 free, so everyone jumped on that sale, hah), but not a whole lot of bathroom items and no bedroom items at all. i’m hoping to get at least a few bed/bath items for our wedding. it’s going to get pricey if we have to buy it all ourselves, so it would be nice to have just a little help with those areas.

eta: i hope i didn’t come off as greedy or ungrateful!

we really do appreciate ALL the gifts we received. since we do have a big registry, of course we don’t expect to receive every single thing on the list and i’m not going to be mad at anyone if we have to buy our own bedding and shower curtains. my cousin redecorated her bathroom recently and was getting rid of a few things, so i was thrilled when she offered me her castoffs, haha. like i said, every little bit helps 🙂

Post # 5
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It doesn’t sound that bad.

If you received  cash,and you received gifts purchased from the registry stores, you can easily purchase or exchange for what you want.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that the registry is just a wish list not a demand list.

Post # 6
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I registered, just so people have the option (a lot of the stuff is small and inexpensive so people don’t feel they have to “pay for their plate” so to speak)

We have a few big ticket items but we are NOT actually expecting anyone to buy them.

Um, I am not getting married to get gifts from my guests.

Post # 7
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t care whether people give us cash or registry stuff or anything else they think is thoughtful. Cash is as much a traditional wedding gift as registry items. I mean, some people figure that if you really want the stuff on your registry, you can either use the cash they gave to buy it, or use the cash for something you want more. And you could, couldn’t you? Why can’t you go use the cash for stuff that you’ve already picked out and clearly still want? 

I’m sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but complaining because the people you love gave you money seems kind of diva-ish. If I were family and knew you didn’t appreciate a gift I gave you that I thought was generous, I wouldn’t give you any gift ever again.

Post # 8
8672 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@julies1949:  Sometimes it’s hard to remember that the registry is just a wish list not a demand list.

This exactly. I think you should just be grateful that guests gave you gifts!

Post # 9
4371 posts
Honey bee

I’d rather get the gift cards and cash anyway because a lot of stores have the registry completion discount. You end up getting more for the money. 

Post # 10
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Juliepants:  My sentiments exactly. I mean really?

Post # 11
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why don’t you use the money they gave you to buy what you need? 


You should be thankful for whatever gifts you got, they didn’t have to get you anything!

Post # 13
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry to hear that.  I figure registries make it so simple for people to buy things, ya know.  I didn’t have that problem at all.  We didn’t get some of the bigger items, but overall we got great things.

Depending on where you registered, you should be getting some great coupons coming your way to purchase what you have not gotten.  With Bed Bath and Beyond, I get 4 coupons per year for 2 years for 20% off my entire purchase.  I can’t wait for September 9th when we get the first one since the BBandB coupon is usually 20% off just one item.

Post # 14
10588 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

My guess would be that many of your guests who got you a GC purposely got one at a store you were registered at.  Now you can go get the stuff you wanted and your decisions are made, so it’s really not a waste of time.

Post # 15
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had a similar experience to you. We received a ton of envelopes and the dollar values of the envelopes was probably 3x the amount we received as dollar amounts of the gifts. Darling Husband is happy we received a lot of envelopes versus “stuff” since we don’t really need more “stuff” and the cash can be used towards a down payment towards a home, which we do “need”.

In terms of the gifts, we received about 2/3 utilitarian items and about 1/2 decorative items. To be fair, we didn’t have a lot of decorative items and the stuff we had were generally pricier than the items that were utilitarian, such as wine glasses and servingware. I think people like to gift decorative items because that has lasting value (will you ever throw away a vase?) whereas towels are not necessarily lasting (you gotta chuck that dirty used towel some day). For example, Darling Husband and I never pick towels and sheets; we usually pick some decorative or an appliance.

I supposed you can interpret as a waste of time as we ended up having to return some of our gifts because, like you, we wanted some other items more than the items we did receive. However, I treated the registries more like shopping lists for future reference so I didn’t mind the effort. It was actually kind of fun.


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