- 2 years ago
Sorry about this long ramble, Bees.
I just have a lot of feelings. ~”She Doesn’t Even Go Here!” Girl, from Mean Girls
My SIL is ten years older than me, and I got married a year before she did, to her brother who is five years younger than her. When we got engaged, she was in the “off” phase of an on-off relationship with her boyfriend of 19 years. She was extremely upset about our engagement, and made it known. Darling Husband proposed, and ended up taking me out to dinner at our first date restaurant and both of our families were there to celebrate with us. It was amazing, and the first time everyone met each other! But his sister sat there in silence, pouting, and the next day told me that she went home afterwards and bawled while eating ice cream, because she was so upset because she should have been “first”.
All through my engagement and wedding planning, she kept saying I’m not allowed to have kids first, and other things like that. I didn’t want kids right away, and she was single so I always shrugged it off. Well, right after my wedding, she rushed into an engagement and wedding with her 19 year boyfriend. (They started dating at 16, and are now 35) Now she is making comments again, about how they are trying to get pregnant, and she is older so she has to be first to have kids, etc.
We went on a family vacation with his side last week, and while we were there, she started her period and was moping around because she “really thought she was pregnant”. Every time we saw a baby, she talked about how “soon she’ll have one”, and she constantly makes little jabs like she is rubbing it in my face that her parents are so excited for grandkids and she will be the first to deliver (pun). I know his parents have had huge problems with her now-husband for the entire 19 years they have been together, so maybe she thinks a baby will bring them all closer together? She has admitted to having problems with jealousy and bitterness towards me, because her parents LOVE me and were SO happy for our marriage, and she feels like she didn’t get the same level of joy for her wedding/engagement because they have always disliked her SO.
Darling Husband and I want to wait another 2-3 years to start trying to have kids, but I have started to develop baby fever. Sometimes I get blue that I might be the last one to have kids out of both of our families (I’m the youngest out of both of our extended families) and the grandparents won’t be as excited for my kids because they will already have a bunch of grandbabies. I don’t know what to say, her comments are annoying, but I feel like if she gets pregnant, she will rub it in my face that she “won” by having kids first.
Honestly, I am on my period and baby fever is flaring up, and I am just blue about the whole thing. I’m not ready to have kids yet, but I am sad when I think about the grandparents on either side being like, “Oh joy, baby number four…” It just doesn’t seem as exciting as being your FIRST GRANDBABY. I’m sure I’m being unreasonably since my hormones are all over the place. Thanks for listening.