MemberHi Bees.
I was chatting a friend who recently got engaged and I asked her if being engaged was any different than “just dating” and she replied with: “Its pretty much the same, except, you don’t feel like you’re gonna dumped all the time”! I thought this was hilarious! Lol. Anyone ever feel like you’ll feel more secure in your relationship when you’re not in the “waiting” zone anymore?
MemberLOL. That’s funny. I have to disagree though. My Fiance and I have had a really strong committment since we began dating and I never worried about us breaking up. And I guess I know too many people who break off engagments and get divorced to see an engagement as a way to ensure not breaking up.
Member@SamanthaSadlier: Well that’s good to know! 🙂
MemberI’m not gonna lie, there is an added level of security now that we are engaged.
MemberFiance practically views us as married now. I was trying to explain to him why the ceremony was more important than the reception, since we’ll be pledging to spend our lives together. His response was that I had promised to marry him when I accepted his proposal, so I had basically already married him. Oh, Fiance, your mind works in mysterious ways.
So, lol, I guess he feels differently. I never felt like I was going to get dumped all the time, but I do feel slightly more secure, in a ‘cozy blanket’ way, not in an ‘I’m not going to get kicked to the curb’ kind of way, if that makes any sense.
MemberI can’t say I feel like I’m going to get dumped all the time, but I’m sure I’ll feel like we’re more committed after we get engaged!
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MemberEven when I was just dating FH, I never felt like I was going to get dumped. The only time I ever felt that way was when I was being abused (in a past relationship). I think if you don’t feel secure in your relationship, that’s that–and it’s kind of a red flag. There’s a little added security (just a tiny, tiny bit) now that we’re engaged, but things aren’t really all that different.
MemberI think there was once toward the beginning of the relationship we went through a rough patch but since then I never felt like I was going to get dumped really. The engagement seemed to just add a ring and a wedding to plan but I’ve felt like we’ve been married for a while now, pretty much since we moved in together so it isn’t really different besides knowing it’ll be set in stone completely (which still doesn’t feel really different).
Member@Statutory Grape: Yeah, I don’t think she was getting abused etc. I do know that she really wanted a ring and he dragged his feet a bit! But otherwise they seemed pretty normal.
MemberMember@happyb: I didn’t mean to imply that–just saying that in my experience, it’s not a good sign to feel like you’re going to get dumped all the time. Lol!
MemberI don’t get this really. I don’t think you should go from feeling like you could get dumped any moment (a sign of a troubled relationship, obviously) to getting engaged. I’ve been with bf for 4 years, and I never feel as if I am going to be dumped. If I did, I don’t think the answer to it would be getting engaged. It’s just as easy to break off an engagement as it is to break up with someone. The only difference is you might have a more financial stake, since the ring was bought and you may or may not have paid for things wedding related. But I sincerely doubt that is going to prevent someone who wants to break an engagement from doing so even if it means losing out on money.
MemberMemberThe topic ‘Feeling like you’re going to get dumped all the time?’ is closed to new replies.