(Closed) Feeling like you’re going to get dumped all the time?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

I kinda feel like regardless how great our relationship is, there will still be a completely different feeling that comes along when we get engaged (I could be wrong though, maybe it won’t feel different at all! Maybe I’ll just be super giddy!). But I could see feeling even more solid, secure, and closer than we already do/are. 

I certainly don’t feel like I could get dumped at any moment, even in our worst of times, we’ve never said “fine, let’s just call it quits then!”… nothing like that.

Post # 19
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

@happyb: I’d be happy of course, but it wouldn’t make me feel more secure. I was engaged once before, and that didn’t stop him from dumping me.

GVD

Post # 20
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

@happyb: As I said, I’m not engaged yet so I could be way off… I hope I didn’t give the wrong impression, I’m very secure both with myself and my relationship… I just think getting engaged may enhance that feeling, maybe? I don’t know how to word it. I guess all in all, I just think we’d feel even closer than we already do right now. I’ve heard a lot of people have that feeling. I agree that people should only move forward when they feel totally solid. I agree with the others, I wouldn’t feel comfortable getting engaged if I’d previously always felt like I could be dumped at any second… it doesn’t really make sense to me. I can’t imagine that feeling! =/

Or nothing could change at all. Maybe I’m just thinking about how giddy I’ll feel when it happens, perhaps? 😛

Post # 21
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think it would change anything except for the title you have as a couple. You still go out on dates, you still say i love you …it just means that your progressing together and it can bring a sense of closeness just like being intimate can, but do I think it changes grand scheme of things. no.

Post # 22
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

@Chipmunk: …it just means that your progressing together and it can bring a sense of closeness just like being intimate can

This is what I was thinking!

Post # 24
Member
712 posts
Busy bee

I’m sure your friend was saying this lightly! 🙂 I doubt she was truly worried about “getting dumped all the time”.. but then again, I don’t know.

I honestly believe being engaged will bring me a little more sense of security. I like how @authentic used the word “enhanced”.

One of my major faults is insecurity about myself, so I know this lends itself to me being insecure about a lot of things in life, including our relationship (however solid it may be in “reality”). The boy is amazing, though and is supportive and really helping me try to overcome my insecurities. He is reassuring and positive and it’s helping me to separate my insecure mind from what really is.

With that being said, I feel we are solid, but I feel I am insecure. But I’m working on it!!

Post # 25
Member
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve never felt like I was going to get dumped with BF.. but I’m sure it depends on the strength of the relationship to begin with? We’ve been an “old married couple” for a long time lol.

Post # 26
Member
1712 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@happyb: I think your friend is a riot. I caught on from the get go she was being funny. But I think in a tiny way she’s right as secure as I am in my relationship right now I think an engagement (and by extension marriage) would infact bring some more security. It shows that we’re moving forward towards our ultimate goal of building the life we both want together.

Post # 27
Member
1035 posts
Bumble bee

@happyb: No I just know that I can finally talk about wedding stuff with him now instead of keeping hush about it.  If anything i’ll be elated that it won’t be long before i’ll be his wife.

Post # 28
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

I am excited to get engaged not only cuz I will feel more of a commitment in the relationship but I also feel like I will be more significant.  right now I feel like “just a gf”.  Does that make sense?  Like I wasnt the first and I might not be the last

Post # 29
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

You know, now that I know that my SO has serious plans to marry me, I feel a ton more secure. I go crazy pants enough that I’ve been afraid that SO would get sick of me. Or if we argue, I’ve worked with the assumption that you only argue when something is wrong and are close to breaking up. Obviously, those are false assumptions, and I figured that out. It is really nice having the security of knowing the intent of my SO. I know we are in an secure place in our relationship, so I completely disagree with some of the ladies above.

Post # 30
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I definitely feel no different than I did before we got engaged. Fiance and I have been together for so long… we might as well have been engaged for the last couple of years. We knew we were in it for good.

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