Post # 1
My fiancée and I have been together 7 years, we are engaged to be married and are getting married this November. We have always been so happy ( we have our problems like normal people ) but the last few months have been strange. I was never thrilled about having a large wedding with all the trimmings but it’s what she wanted and I agreed as long as that one day we could renew our vows privately. As the months have gone on she’s not interesting in anything to do with the wedding leaving it to me – I find it stressful as I am an anxious person and it’s overwhelming but I was starting to look forward to the wedding and the planning process. Since she’s started her new job I barely see her and I feel like I’m here to just wash her clothes and make her dinner. She’s distant when we are together and always on her phone, I feel like she’s not interested in conversation with me. She moans about the lack of intimacy but when it feels like someone has checked out it’s hard to want to feel intimate, I am an affectionate person and when I am affectionate towards her it’s like get off your smothering me. Today she said I’m different and we talked, she said she doesn’t feel like I love her- she always uses the excuse of lack of sex ( sex doesn’t equate to love), she said she was sick of the wedding. I’m prepared for our wedding I have my dress , organised most of it and she has done nothing even though it was what she wanted. She then said she wasn’t sure she wanted to get married anymore and then said she was too young. Then wondered why I was upset- this is 7 years we’ve been engaged 3 I just feel devastated – part of me thinks is it just because she’s done a nfiht shift and is tired ( when she has a mood she often says hurtful things) but I just don’t know what to do or think. Sorry for rambling , I’ve only just been brave enough to talk to my best friend about this
Post # 2
Aww. I’m sorry bee 🙁 Why don’t you take a few days to regroup. Maybe go see some family, have a spa weekend and think about what it is that you want….feeling like you’re always making compromises must be frustrating if it’s not reciprocated.
Take the time to determine where your line in the sand is and have a frank discussion with your partner about how you’ve been feeling.
The biggest mistake I’ve made in past relationships was letting things that made me unhappy go for too long. It’s supposed to be a partnership and compromise but not at the expense of your feelings and if you haven’t found that you’re on equal footing over the last little while you need to find out why.
Good luck Bee.
Post # 3
meanttobee2018 : we are supposed to be going away on Monday for a few days – I feel nervous but hopeful. I’ve had a stressful few weeks anyway and this has just broken me , I feel so sad.
Post # 4
Hi bee! I am so sorry to hear you’re going through this difficult time, it sounds like you really do need a mini break to collect yourselves again. I hope your upcoming getaway helps you both and you are able to work through this. Don’t be shy to PM me if you ever need to talk/vent.
Post # 5
That’s pretty tough going. It does sound like you are both communicating well, though.
I agree with PP, try and use this break to regroup and have a heart-to-heart. It sounds like your Fiance isn’t sure what she wants, and she might need time to figure that out, but perhaps you need to initiate the conversation. It might just be that the wedding is getting closer and it’d becoming ‘real’ – I know a few people that have panicked at that stage.
Regarding intimacy, to some people it’s more important than others. It sounds like you need to discuss that too- perhaps her expectations don’t match up with yours.
Keep us posted- we’re here to support you.
Chin up, and good luck bee.
Post # 6
i know it must be tough. Focus on the two of you as a couple. Spend the time trying to reconnect and stay hopeful!
Chin up bee. You’ve got this!