(Closed) Feeling lost and unsure in marriage..

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@dannielle89: I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. have you thought about seeing a therapist or counselor just to let some steam off? sometimes just talking to someone can help, it doesn’t mean you have problems or need a prescription. do you have any girlfriends or family members you can talk to about this? 

Post # 4
11 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

Just take some time. Don’t act like you are all better just give it some time. If you stilll have a hard time letting those feelings go, counseling would be a good option to see where you both should go from there. 

Post # 5
7582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@dannielle89: Counseling. Some for you by yourself and some for you together. You both need to learn how to feel fulfilled in this relationship even during hard times and bouts of depression. I think it’s normal to develop a crush on someone who might be providing what you are missing, however just because something isn’t perfect in your relationship doesn’t mean it would be perfect with someone else.

Post # 6
3196 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with mwitter80. Just because it felt good to get the attention and support you needed from another source doesn’t mean that you can’t get it anymore from your marriage. You just need to do some reconnecting with your husband to make sure you are both still working towards the same goals and always trying to make life better for the other person in marriage. Good luck, and don’t feel so down about it. You can’t be expected to bear all the burdens by yourself and you need someone to talk to and help you figure yourself/your feelings out. 

Post # 7
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with mwitter80. I’m sorry youre feeling this way and going through this.

My fiance’ and I just went through something SO similiar! I work for a Dr’s office so we have reps who come in. There are several that are male, and only a few come in alot! (Several days a week) I found myself feeling attracted to one in particular, but never said anything to him; he’s married. He was there for me and listened during mine and Mr. M’s hard times. We got through it, but deff. just be honest with him. (Which it sounds like u are) 😉

I think you need to take a mini vacation or something like fvsoccer said; do some reconnecting with him. Remember youre not the only one who feels this way.. Good luck!!!

Post # 8
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You need to stop communication with your male friend and focus on your marriage. I agree 100% with pps who are telling you to speak to a counselor or therapist about your depression and stress. He or she can also give you skill for coping with your husband’s bouts of depression. Attending counseling together is also a good idea.

Post # 9
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

You agreed to stick with your husband for better or worse, in sickness AND in health. Even if you didn’t physically cheat, by having a crush on him and continuing to carry on with him, you’re at very serious risk for an emotional affair (in fact, if he has feelings for you, I’d say it may already be one).

I know dealing with depression and hypoglycemia is tough. But I bet if you look inside yourself, you’ll realize that there are things about you that your husband has to put up with. Would you want him stepping out on you because of them?

If the answer is no, then PLEASE, for the sake of your marriage, stop seeing Friend. It isn’t too late to do the right thing and salvage your relationship. Friends come and go, but marriage should, ideally, be forever. Kudos to Friend for recognizing that what was going on between the two of you is inappropriate, and putting the kibosh on it.

If the aswer is “I don’t care,” then you need to either seek marital counseling, or consider letting your husband go so that he can find someone who WILL honor her marital vows. But keep in mind, he sounds great and it’s probably going to be very hard to find someone who has all of his good qualities, yet doesn’t bring problems equally bad or worse than hypoglycemia and depression to the table. Please don’t do anything without very careful consideration.

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