- 9 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
This may be long, but I could really use some advice, so thank you to anyone who reads through and offers their opinion.
I was married in December last year to a wonderful man. We have been together 6 years, living together for 4 years. We both met in our teens, although had dated other people previously (not as serious though, obviously). As I said, my husband is wonderful. He is very intelligent, has motivation to have a successful career, doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble etc. He has friends, but doesn’t see them very often, and if he does we usually all hang out together as a group. He is attractive, very much into fitness and loves going to the gym, he is kind, sweet, funny and I do love him. He is not without his problems though- he suffers from depression (which seems to run in cycles where he will be good for 6 months, than have a rough 2 months), he also has reactive hypoglycaemia, which affects his blood sugar and if he doesn’t eat, or eats the wrong food he gets sick, cranky and moody. If he is in a bout of depression, or feeling unwell due to his condition he can get snappy, moody and shut me out.
My husband recently went through a very long bout of feeling down, probably from March after the passing of his uncle. We had some other financial stresses and we also moved (and he is doing his masters) so it was VERY stressful, however his constant sombre mood, teamed with him not really connecting with me left me feeling very isolated and alone. I shared how I was feeling with a male friend, and over the course of a few weeks we became very close and I developed a crush on him. I went out to dinner with him (my husband knew, he is very understanding) and afterwards my male friend told me we couldn’t be friends anymore because the way we were acting was inappropriate because I am married, and he didn’t want to become a problem in my marriage.
During this time, my husband started to feel better and once again is happy, fun, wants to go do things, talking about taking day trips going out to dinner etc. However, I feel so lost and depressed? My husband asked what is wrong and I told him the truth, I said that I was very tempted to cheat on him and he said that he understood and wasn’t angry, and that he knows the way he acted was hard on me and thanked me for being so strong (see- wonderful man!) BUT I still can’t get past these feelings for my male friend and I keep thinking about him.
I am also just feeling depressed about everyday life- my job, not seeing my friends, having to do housework. I even am starting to hate being around my cat??? What do I do? I don’t want to be with my male friend, I don’t want to talk to him again.. I just want to go back to being happy and fulfilled in my marriage..