- 5 years ago
I feel a bit ashamed of how upset this is making me, but I really need to let this out.
I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable about this, or silly, so if anyone would like to give their two cents feel free.
I’ve been dating my SO for 3.5 years now and we finally moved in together a month ago and we should be engaged within the next two months. I’ve waited a long time for all of this to happen and I’m so overjoyed I’ve found someone I love and we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together and we haven’t rushed anything. We’re both in our late twenties and we’re stable, educated, and debt-free.
My best friend just started dating a guy back in September and they’ve been moving really fast. The man she is dating is also fairly wealthy, he bought her a MacBook Air for her birthday after they had only been dating for a month and a half. He takes them for a monthly couples massage at an expensive spa. He took her on a $500 shopping spree as her Christmas present. All she ever does when we hang out or talk is talk about his money and all the things he is buying her.
I’ll admit, it does make me jealous. My SO and I don’t have the kind of money to do those kinds of things, and even if my SO did have the money to do that he isn’t the kind of guy that would think/do that kind of thing.
Today I got a text from her staying that her boyfriend asked her to move in with him today and that he said he wanted to get married in the next year and a half and then they could start TTC. He told her he would pay for the $5,000 invisalign braces she has been wanting and that when they have kids she could quit working and go back to school to get a college degree.
She has only been dating this guy for four months, I feel like it’s really soon to be moving in and making the types of plans and commitments she is making. It could put her in a really bad position if they don’t work out. She hasn’t even met his family yet.
I know this is terrible, but what also bothers me is that I feel like this is my time to shine. I just moved in with my boyfriend of 3.5 years and we’re getting engaged soon with the intention of getting married in two years. I never thought we’d be planning our weddings at the same time or that she might be getting engaged right at the same time as me.
I asked her what it was about him that made her feel like she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and she didn’t really have any good reasons. She said she loves that he is stable, isn’t afraid of commitment, has the same life goals (kids, marraige), financially well off, and has nice eyes. All of those reasons sounded really externally based and not the makings of a strong long-term relationship. I think she is more enamored by his money and the fact that he wants to have kids and get married than anything else. He is a smart guy but he is the complete opposite of her from what I can tell.
I dunno, maybe I’m just being a jealous douche and I should get over it. I know I’ve seen plenty of peoples stories on weddingbee that meet and get married quickly and have awesome relationships.
Do you think I should figure out a nice way to tell her I don’t think she should move in with him? Should I not say anything to her before they move in together and mind my own business? Do you have any similar stories/experiences?
Thanks for reading this and any input! 🙂