(Closed) Feeling needy and Annoyed

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
242 posts
Helper bee

Have you talked to him about how you are feeling? Does he know you are pregnant? Just try to tell him, even if you are being emotional from the pregnancy, he needs to know that and will probably try to show you. Just try to tell him as calmly as you can. If he doesn’t know, he can’t change his plans to be with you.

Post # 3
11578 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

absolutely_tati:  is it possible he’s working extra hours to afford baby? As for time for you, that sucks! I think you need to talk to him about his time management. Seems like he works an awful lot and probably wants to decompress when he’s home. So you need to find a way he can set aside some time for Two of you.

Post # 4
4029 posts
Honey bee

absolutely_tati:  Ok, not trying to sound harsh, but…

1. He is in the room right next to you right now. Go talk to him and tell him how you feel. He won’t know unless you communicate it. Being on the weddingbee isn’t helping at the moment.

2. Is it possible that he feels the need to work more (and on Thanksgiving) because you have a child on the way?

3. Have you tried scheduling in dates/activities to do? If you set plans ahead of time, you might have an easier time ensuring you two will spend time together.

Post # 5
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

absolutely_tati:  Does he know you are pregnant?  Were you feeling like this before you found out you were pregnant, or did you tell him you’re pregnant and now he’s had a change in behavior?

Post # 6
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

So instead of coming on here telling us about it, why don’t you go I don’t know go talk to him. You are not helping your situation by sitting on the internet telling us about it.  

Post # 8
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Ok, take a deep breath. First of all – CONGRATS! How exciting!! 

I don’t know how old you guys are but you have to remember that men and women process things very differently. Women worry about emotions and relationships and men worry about finances first. It does seem that he is thinking that by the multiple jobs, working Thanksgiving, etc and providing for you and your unborn child. He may be scared and just trying to keep himself busy until he can process it all.

It’s still new information for him to process so here’s what I suggest:

  1. Talk to him in a non-emotional way. Do not attack him for his actions nor how he may feel. 
  2. Start off and end with something positive with your concerns in the middle. (Eg-tell him you love him and are excited about your future. You so appreciate all his hard work and putting in extra effort for both of you.
  3. Ask him how he is feeling and his thoughts – and listen! Let him talk without interruption.
  4. Then tell him how you need some emotional support and would like to talk about it and other things. 
  5. Suggest a certain amount of undivided attention say 1/2 hr a day, that you guys have no electronics on and just talk, catch up, cuddle, whatever. You realize he’s trying to support you, but you need his emotional support as well. 
  6. Be clear about how you feel and what you need from him right now. 
  7. Then don’t forget to end with something positive about him and you guys. 

Remember not to accuse or attack for how he is now. He will only get defensive and tune you out.

Post # 10
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Ok… Now that you said he doesn’t know. Think of a cute way to tell him. When you know he will be home tomorrow night, plan a nice dinner, have candles lit, maybe a cute baby outfit or shoes wrapped up and give him as a gift or a baby football? Or whatever he likes. A onsie that says I love Daddy is a cute idea too. Make it special. CREATE the moments you want. 

Post # 11
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

absolutely_tati:  honey you need to tell him. Right now you’re processing all the info with this one big piece of news (you’re pregnant! Congratulations!) so you’re filtering everything through that. He thinks it’s business as  usual so he’s processing all the info like that. IF you tell him and he still acts this way then come back here and tell us about it so you can vent. But venting about your husband’s behavior when he doesn’t know crucial stuff is not ok, hormones or no hormones. 

Post # 12
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

MrsTtoB:  I suggest you wait until after the game is over.

Post # 15
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

Honestly, not that games are more important than our marriage, but there are certain games I know my husband really likes to watch ..without me chiming in about serious stuff haha.  

Congratulations on the pregnancy & I hope tonight’s incident isn’t the norm!

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