- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I guess I always had this vision in my mind when it came to planning / getting ready for my wedding. Comraderie, group dress shopping, excitment… Ha what a joke. No one wants anything to do with my wedding, they won’t even let me talk about it, never mind actually helping me with anything. Is it my expectations that are wrong, or are my friends and family just not interested?!
It started with me and my brother getting in a fight (about his awful drama queen gf), and him backing out of being our best man. I was devasted bc he acted like it was no big deal. He actually said ‘your wedding is only a big deal to you, no one else cares’. I know if he was getting married it would be very important to me…
My mother and I have never had a good relationship, not even remotely. So I was so excited when she seemed really into the wedding at first. We went dress shopping together and had a great time, she was helping me with downpayments… And then, nothing. She won’t even let me talk to her about it. It’s always, oh you have plenty of time, the world does not revolve around your wedding, ect, ect, ect. I was so excited when I got my Save-The-Date Cards in the mail and she wouldn’t even look at them, she was ‘too tired’. Her latest thing is ‘as long as you smile everything will be fine’. She said that to me when I was legitimately worried about a rain plan (wedding is on my families farm). Ummm I don’t think my smile will stop the rain. My heart breaks a little more each time she shuts me down. I want I badly to have that mother daughter relationship. I never should have gotten my hopes up in the beginning.
Finally, my Maid/Matron of Honor has just been terrible. Everything I’m doing is ‘ridiculous’, everything is wrong. I’m obsessed with my wedding, it’s unhealthy. She has fought me on everything, down to threatening not to be in the wedding over her hair. We have always been slightly competitive with eachother, but I def wasn’t expecting this fom her. I have just stopped talking to her about it, unless I absolutely have to for logistic reasons, bc she is just so mean about it.
The thing is, I haven’t asked that much of anyone. I just want to talk about it. They make me out to be this crazy bridezilla. My Fiance thinks I couldn’t be farther from being one. I know I have had my moments, but I’m not that bad. It’s like they are determined not to be happy for me. It makes so sad. It makes me feel like eff it, no one cares if I have a wedding, why am I spending this sickening amount of money. Fiance and I would have been just as happy eloping, but my parents wouldn’t hear of it. There had to be a ‘real’ wedding. I just feel really alone.