(Closed) Feeling pretty apathetic about the whole thing – no one cares!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Weetzie:  Your brother had it right on the money. The only people that care about your wedding is you and your Fiance. It’s unfortunate that your family is hopping on the ‘we don’t care train’ but even that is way more common then you think. 

All those movies which show happy huge groups f friends gushing over every little thing, doesn’t happen.

I’m lucky enough to have a fair amount of people that are genuinely interested in how wedding plans are going, and genuinely excited for me about everything. These people are the exception, not the rule. One of my BMs seems to have no interest in it, and even some family, that’s just how it goes, they have their own lives that will always be more important to them then some party.

Post # 4
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Weetzie:  I’m so sorry everyone is getting you down about your wedding 🙁

I’m curious why you don’t have a good relationship with your mother. Does she like your FI? Or do you think that your fight with your brother may have triggered her change in attitude? Just wondering.

Not sure about your Maid/Matron of Honor. Does she have something else going on in her life that might be stressing her out? She might feel like you “monopolize” conversations with talk about your plans and excitement while “neglecting” what’s going on with her. I don’t know. It makes me sad to see MOHs and BMs fight with brides. Everyone should be happy!

If you can think of a nice way to say it, I might sit your mother down and tell her that you don’t have as much time left to plan as she might think, and that you would be just as happy to scale back or elope if she doesn’t feel up to helping you.

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@drummerbride:  +1

@Weetzie:  My fiance actually said that to me a few weeks ago, and it’s the honest truth. “You and I are the ones who care the wedding. No one is going to jump up to help you. Just remember it’s better to be a bridezilla than a meek bride”

I have photographed SOOO many weddings. The worst ones aren’t the ones with the bridezillas, who are demanding, know what they want, expect help from the people who’ve agreed to be in the wedding, and are on top of everything. The worst weddings that I’ve photographed are the ones that have a sweet, meek bride. She gets ran over, people steal the spotlight from her constantly, she gives up on having her opinions heard. It’s heartbreaking. I hate that this is happening to you. But remember that everything in your wedding can be done whatever way fits the best for you and your Fiance. I had to accept ahead of time that certain members of my family weren’t going to “be there” for me. You just have to change your plans, change your way of thinking, and make it work for yourself.

 

I for one, have been dress shopping with my bridesmaids (terrible time that was) and now I am going by myself. Because it works for me. I hope things get better for you soon, dear!

Post # 6
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

I am sorry for your experience. My in-laws also pretty much told me that we can’t elope (or have a small wedding)- however they did get into every detail and boy- that is annoying too! I know it souns weird but: be glad that your family doesn’t constantly criticize you and have “better” ideas. You can pretty much do whatever you want and design the wedding as you want! But your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds a little too selfish for me-she should be the one supporting you and not tell you that your ideas are ridicoulus. And she doesn’t want to be in your wedding-over hair?!? I actually also got rid of my first Maid/Matron of Honor, but for another reason-and it was just so relieving! (I am not saying you should though-just talk to her)

After all It is YOUR wedding and if no one cares-eff them-don’t eff your wedding over them! 

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