Post # 1
Nothing huge has happened lately, but I thought I’d share. My SO’s grandmother has been in town for knee replacement surgery, and she was finally well enough to leave her rehabilitation to join us for lunch this weekend with her husband. At one point she asked us if we were going to set a date any time soon. In the context of the conversation I wasn’t sure she meant marriage at first. We told her we had a few things we needed to settle in our lives first, so we still had a while before we would be able to start seriously planning an engagement (at least May, I’d say). She was trying to be helpful and encouraging, and mentioned the possibility of pre marital counseling at her church. Now, neither SO or I are religious, so I doubt that is in the cards for us, but I was kind of touched how seriously she was taking our relationship. I mean, she should, I’ve been with my SO for over 3 years and we’ve been supportive of each other through some tough times.
I suppose where I’m going is that I’ve seen some bees here get frustrated when people ask when they’ll be getting engaged… and though I can completely understand that reaction (that is what I would have expected from myself, even), I surprisingly don’t. I guess it makes me feel good in a way, knowing that they are rooting for us and, when it comes to family, they are ready for us to officially join them. I’m kind of relieved this isn’t hard for me to hear from people, because that would make all this so much harder.
Granted, it could also be less frustrating because I think it spurred some future talk in SO and I. 🙂
Does anyone else not have a hard time when someone asks when you’ll be getting engaged?
Post # 3
this post gave me a little perspective! Thank you for it, and you are right, people asking are rooting for us and supporting us even if it does get frustrating 🙂
so happy you posted this!
Post # 4
@qwerty2k1: I think you are in a very fortunate possition where the statement was ment with genuine mirth and excitement about you joining the family. It is great to hear.
It’s different every time you hear it. And what phase the moon is in (if you catch my drift)
Post # 5
@Sapphire-Dreamer: Oh, I’m sure you’re right. If someone were to ask in a snobbish way I would have gotten irked. I’ve been pretty lucky there so far, I know. But we have been getting asked a lot lately. I think it’s partially because the winter holidays are coming up!
Post # 6
@qwerty2k1: This summer was so hard for me. I must have been asked at least 6 times when we were getting married. The last two times was twice in the span of 2 days and I wanted to scream. And now my grandma is on it. But I know she Just wants to see me in the dress because…she’s getting up there in age, ya know?
Post # 7
It doesn’t bother me if I know it’s coming from a place of sincerity. 🙂 In my circle, though, most people are artsy bohemians and marriage is not on their radar at all, so they don’t really think about it. But it’s happened two times recently… one, a friend of a friend asked if (not when) we thought about getting married, and that was nice. She was really sweet about it. And then a few weeks ago we were at my friend’s house for her bday party and her mom somehow thought we were engaged and asked us, “So, y’all set a date yet?” lol, it was funny at the moment… She thought she was just making conversation. 😉
It really does depend on the person asking and their tone.