(Closed) Feeling pretty overwhelmed…. :-(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What does black tie suggested mean?

You can absolutely talk to your best friend. Get a bottle of wine, some awesome cheese, and go over there and say, “I am so happy you’re in your first apartment…let’s celebrate!”  And if the conversation happens to steer toward wedding stuff, whatevs.  Maybe also bring her a decorative vase.

Post # 4
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Id be pissed too. He shouldnt have said that to his folks. Younare innthe mist stressful time right now. Just remember to keep calm. At some point your body will just shut down from all the stress. It happened to me. I got really sick.

So just try to take it easy, for your health anyways. Everything will work out!

 

 

Post # 5
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@MrsDiddles:  You’ve come to the right place to vent – let it all out 🙂

My Fiance is also sporadically interested in providing input – and i can see that becoming a problem as our plans develop. 

Maybe like my Fiance, yours is not a “details” man, and is instead focused on the bigger picture (ie taking you to be his wife). Are you familiar with the mason jar manifesto? Well, when the details started getting me down, my Fiance sat me down and gave his own version of it (though he had never seen the original). It really gave me an insight into his perspective, and why he doesn’t want to get bogged down with details. It really helped to get his perspective on things. Maybe have a caht with Fiance and explain that while the details are a by-product of the whole event, and they aren’t the be-all and end-all, they are necessary for you to make your wedding as special as possible for you both.

Though i may be completely off the mark here…. 

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

UGH!  My Darling Husband did this at times.  It’s so frustrating.  I had to sit him down and be like look, dude… when I ask for your opinion and you say you don’t care, then you’re not allowed to argue with me later when I’ve already made a decision.  If you don’t know and want to think about it that’s fine, but tell me.  Don’t just tell me to make the decision and then argue with whatever I decide.  It’s really frustrating because I’m working my ass off to make this wedding special and I feel like you’re just arguing with everything.  That helped.  The fun part is coming… just don’t give up now.

Post # 7
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry Hun – you’re not alone though! My FIance wants veto power on everything yet will take no part in doing the hours upon hours of research! Hang in there you’re almost there!!

Post # 9
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My FH (well, now H I guess:)) was the same way. Different approaches helped us through. In this case, maybe mention that they might feel out of place if they’re not dressed as formally as everyone else, especially since they’re in the wedding party, and may clash with the rest of the WP’s colors too – the last thing he’d probably want based on the quote above is to make them uncomfortable.

I actually wanted FH’s input but he never had any until it was way too late, and then it usually clashed strongly with other decisions already made.  The number one thing I learned was not to get upset about his out-of-the-blue disagreements, just stay calm and figure it out making sure that first and foremost we both ended up happy.  You’d probably rather his mom in fuschia than any resentment between the two of you on this beautiful occasion.

Also, depending on your relationship with his parents, you might just call his mom and say what would work best, explaining Darling Husband isn’t as concerned with details.  Most women would understand.

 

 

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