(Closed) Feeling quilty about bridal shower

posted 10 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

it;s very sweet that your sister is throwing you a shower, but your thoughts make complete sense. could you ask her to just invite all the ladies to a salon or just for lunch or something? you could have some female bonding and get your nails done/ have a nice meal or something. this way you can get all excited, have some laughs, and your sister can also enjoy doing something for you.

Post # 4
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008


There is no reason for you to feel guilty about the shower– your friends and family WANT to celebrate this exciting time in your life!  You don’t have to be in your 20s to “deserve” a bridal shower– I’m sure your friends are happy to have the opportunity to buy you little gifts and spend a day focused on you.  Think of all the special occasions in their lives that you have celebrated– don’t you want to give them the chance to mark this milestone with you as well?  I say let your sister go for it!  Of course, if you don’t want one, I would suggest some other activity to your sister, but it sounds like you would really like one.  Good luck!

Post # 5
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

One of the most important things that i have had to accept about weddings is that people want to do things for you and give you gifts, usually very nice/thoughtful/expensive ones, whether you want them to or not.  And if you refuse, its very insulting and hurtful to them.   On the other (more practical) hand, you need to balance over-generosity with what’s best for everyone. 

If your sister wants to throw you a shower, compromise.  Have her keep it small, just close friends and immediate family.  Stress that you don’t want her to make a huge deal out of it, or go overboard with the cost.  You could still get a few of the nicer things you’ve had to do without, but without all of the fuss.

Are you worried that you think you’re too old for a shower, or that other people will think that? Besides, you’re never too old to have people who care about you throw you a party to wish you luck and give you a few things to help outfit your home for a married life.  It’s your first marriage, so allow yourself to enjoy some of the tradition too, don’t just do it all for him.  Find the love in it for you too.


Post # 6
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

No matter what your age, people want to celebrate this next step in your life so let them. I am sure there are plenty of younger people who are probably more set up with housegoods than you are and they are having showers! Just look at it as a way to appreciate your friends and family and maybe upgrade some of your stuff!

Post # 8
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know how you feel.  I told everyone no shower, we have too much stuff as it is and I hate attention.  However…. it has nothing to do with age.  Tell your sister not to go over board if you are uncomfortable with a big thing.  Are you registered?  Maybe your going to get nighties!! 

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