- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I have been wanting to write abotu this for a while so I really hope that some of you will try to help and give me some perspective.
So last night, my FI and I got into a heated discussion for probably the tenth time over the same old thing. I know reaccuring issues come up with most couples but this one needs to go and I need some advice as to what I should be doing to work on things.
Let me make clear… I do not expect him to “change”.. I love him entirely for who he is and he feels the same about me. We are in no way on the rocks.. this is just something we deal with and really is our only fight in our relationship.
He is wonderful to me always and I know I am his number one and that he loves me a lot but he has slowly let showing me that not matter anymore. Some examples:
– He won’t do little things to show me he loves me like he used to.. notes, dropping by unexpectedly, showing me some extra love and support if I am having outside stressors with work or friends
-Sometimes I feel like he isnt as excited for our plans or time together like he used to be
So in our conversation about this, I have gathered that I make him aware of these issues too often… almost like I tell him EVERY SINGLE TIME that he does something that makes me feel like he doesnt want me like he used to. I TOTALLY GET THIS!!! So he has told me that I need to show him and give him some slack and time and he will do his best to change.
So I do try.. I am not perfect, but I really have let alot of things go that I used to bring up. What I want is for him to start making an effort, now that I am really trying to make an effort. But it feels like he is completely on board to make an effort when we talk about it.. and then it just leaves his brain as soon as the conversation is over.
What should I do? I am starting to think that I should just hold all of this in and trust that the love is the same for a period of time and see if he really does feel more motivated to treat me the same… but it is so hard when I am a very sensitive and emotional person and really dont like doing stuff like that. I like being open and honest.
I hope that this makes some sense and I appreciate any advice bees 🙂