(Closed) Feeling really guilty about having a wedding

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would have gone with the down payment on the house and saved for a small but nice wedding. The decision has been made so just be happy about it. Hpefully it does not cause future fights. Sometimes it’s good to spend a good week or so going over a decision. It sounds like you would have gone with the down payment had you taken time to weigh the importance of having a home rather than a one day party. Apologize to your fiance and tell him that you will greatly consider his input on future decisions. I’m sure he understands. Most women dream of their wedding day and it sounds like he loves you so you will get through it. All you can do now is take a lesson learned out of this.    

Is there any way to compromise with your parents by keeping the wedding costs down? Maybe they could pay for a small wedding and pay for half of your down payment on a house. Keep your guest count low and don’t have anything too elaborate.  

Post # 4
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well, are your deposits refundable? Could YOU raise the money for the wedding, or could you split the amount of money they gave you and put, say, 2/3 of it towards a down payment and 1/3 towards a wedding, and then pay for the “difference” yourselves?

Looks from your date like you have  a little over a year until the wedding – do you think if you used only a portion of the money for the wedding, could you and your FH save a targeted amount over the next year to make up the difference?

Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would probaby have to go with the down payment on the house and have a small wedding. Just because it is small it can still be nice. I am sure your parents would still be okay with that idea.

Post # 6
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

ooh, that’s a tough situation.  You can’t split the money?  Some money towards the wedding and some towards a house?

Post # 7
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m wrestling with the guilt of wanting a large wedding or saving our money for rainy days right now (the economy is shaky)…so you’re not alone! I so want a big day, but I feel guilty when I think about blowing our nesteggs on one big party (we saved for it ourselves). 

I think in the end I would find a happy medium. Just enjoy it now that you already put down the deposit.  Perhaps you can scale it down a little so that you can still have money left over for married life. 

 

Post # 8
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My parents gave us almost the same option. not for the down payment b/c I already have a house but to finish renos.

We decided to spent some on the wedding and use some for the house

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