Post # 1
One of my BMs announced on Facebook today that she’s engaged and I’d be really happy were it not for the fact that I’ve never heard of the guy and when I asked her if it was for real she just totally blanked me.
If it is true then I’m absolutely delighted for her, but I’m really hurt that she’s totally blanked me like this!
Post # 3
Maybe she was insulted you didn’t believe her. If my friend had gone, “Haha, really?” when I announced my engagement, you would bet I’d be pissed as hell.
Whether or not you’ve met the guy doesn’t really make a difference. Seems a little off, but different strokes for different folks.
Post # 4
@SpecialSundae: maybe she’s just been too busy to respond today? What does “blanked me” mean?
Post # 5
@Hyperventilate: + 1
My feelings would be hurt and I’d be very embarrassed if someone asked me if my engagement was real, especially if you asked on FB.
Post # 6
@SpecialSundae: I would be annoyed that I found out my friend was engaged via facebook. She can’t even send you a text at the very least?
Post # 7
Ya I am not sure what “blanked” you means either.
BUT your willing to bet I would be pissed and hurt if my Bridesmaid or Best Man got engaged, and I never even knew she was seeing someone! And I would also ask if it was for real lol
Post # 8
Yeah, I’d be ticked off too if I didn’t rate to at least get an email or a text before the entire world knew about it. (Thanks facebook.)
I know I wouldn’t be sad one little bit if I woke up tomorrow and facebook were gone.
Post # 9
@Hyperventilate: She was with another guy until three months ago. They split; she spent a month cutting herself and living in a drunken haze; last I heard (a month ago) was that she was seeing a guy who still had another girlfriend.
This isn’t someone I’ve lost touch with. We speak every week at least once. She just hadn’t said anything about it being serious.
@mstellah: That she didn’t reply when I messaged her.
She’s now replied to a text saying that she doesn’t know if it’s for real but that she hopes it is. Her flatmate/best mate has DMed me on Twitter saying that he isn’t taking it seriously yet.
You have to understand that, if it’s for real, I’ll be the first in line to celebrate and do absolutely everything I can to make her wedding planning as fun as possible, but if he hurts her I’ll also be first in line to break his balls. Way too many guys have hurt her.
Post # 10
@SpecialSundae: Every relationship moves to the beat of a different drum. My husband and I were honest with each other that we were going to get married within the first three or four months of our relationship. We had known each other (and dated) previously, so it wasn’t “as it seemed” but when I talked to people about it, when I said, “This is the man I am going to marry.” I got a lot of negative responses about it. People take things at face value, especially when they haven’t been “looking in the window” for as long as I have.
So, that’s just how I see it. There is a real chance that there is a lot more going under the surface that you just don’t know. Maybe this is an old fling or old flame, or maybe they just clicked. I don’t know, you don’t know, and unless you plan on grilling your friend (I don’t recommend it.) I would just congradulate her on her engagement and move on. If it turns out it wasn’t meant to be, or wasn’t real, or was one thing or another, that’s your friend’s problem and you should leave her to deal with it.
I wouldn’t cast such a stern eye at her and doubt her situation, because anybody who has ever been in a relationship knows that people progress at different speeds. Unless you know it’s a joke, don’t treat it like one.
Post # 11
@Hyperventilate: I’m not treating it like a joke. This isn’t three or four months, this is three or four weeks. I’ve asked her if it’s for real (because she’d expect nothing less from me) and she has now replied that even she’s not sure. I’m delighted for her if it is but I’m terrified for her if he’s another asshole.
ETA: I’m not a bitch. I’m genuinely worried for her. A large part of why she and her ex split was that he didn’t propose and the split almost killed her.
Post # 12
So you’re hurt because your Bridesmaid or Best Man got engaged without you knowing about it beforehand and then didn’t instantly reply to you?
It would be one thing if you titled this “worried Bridesmaid or Best Man is rushing into this” but you are trying to make it about you and say you are hurt. I find that baffling, sorry, how is this about you?
Oh and one of my friends missed a text when I got engaged and then responded to my FB update with “when were you going to tell me?” I found it selfish, hurtful and needy. Just saying…
Post # 13
If this were my friend I would concerned about her not hurt and turning this into something about me.
From what you expressed about this girl it seems like she going through a tough time. When my friends are doing things that are destructive and not acting like themselves I am concerned about them and realize that there are bigger issues to worry about rather then myself. It’s human and normal to have emotions that aren’t rational. But I hope you get over it and realize it has nothing to do with you and your friendship and everything to do with her going through a rough patch in life and making poor choices. I also find it rather insensitive to be making a joke out it when you know the issues she been going through. So even if you shocked and thought it was joke you shouldn’t have expressed that to her.
Post # 14
Girl sounds crayzay honey. I’d be pissed too. That seems so odd. She doesn’t even know herself? Bahaha
Post # 15
yeah…I’m gonna have to go with your conclusion @meetmethere2013….she sounds like a big ol’ bag of crazycakes. You’re a nice friend for being concerned, but eventually we have to learn from our own mistakes or not.
Post # 16
I would just make sure that you are there for her, which I am sure you will be 🙂 She may be in a funny place tright now – or she may just be super-ridic happy – I owuld maybe just text her to see how she’s going and maybe apologise if she feels you hurt her feelings accidentally when you asked – it was not your intention I’m sure.
‘Blanked’ over here means to completely ignore. I am from North England and I don’t think they use it in the South of England, think it is quite a specific colloquial term in the North East and Scotland – though I COULD be wrong. When i went to uni people were always like ‘what?!’ (even though I went to university in a city that was still thought of as in the North. It basically means they would walk past you in the street, looking away from you looking completely blank, or would not respond to texts or emails or calls or if you tried to talk to them they would act as if you weren’t there.