- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Feeling a lot of regret lately…Of course, not directed towards the decision to get married. NO! I am so incredibly happy with my HUSBAND, Joe, and I would never regret choosing him to spend the rest of my life with. My regret has been towards the events of the day. We got married on September 18, just a few weeks ago in Lansing, Michigan. The days leading up to the wedding were GORGEOUS. Weather was mid 70s, the colors were starting to change on the leaves, everything was falling into place.
Our venue was the same for the ceremony and reception – the Country Club of Lansing and we scouted out the golf course a week before for great photo locations. In the back of my mind I knew it could rain, but I felt we had been so blessed with sunny skies that the chance of rain was unlikely. Well, being in Michigan I should have checked myself. I just had a hard time accepting it was going to rain. Everyone around me told me it wasn’t and to think positive. I didn’t come up with a plan B for pictures and I should have. The chance of rain increased with every day that week. I woke up Saturday morning to thunder and lightening. It rained ALL day. Thank goodness the ceremony was under a tent, but everything we had planned on the golf course never happened.
Joe and I chose to do a first look. The location we wanted was a beautiful, secluded spot on one of the holes. It was right off a pond on a little island with weeping willow trees and the colors of fall surrounding us. I was really looking forward to that moment. Instead, we had to do our first look under the tent in the ceremony location….with everyone watching. It was not the romantic moment you read about in other bee’s posts. Of course it was special but I had so many ideas of what it would be like to see Joe for the first time in my dress. I didn’t expect it to be raining in the background and everyone around us watching. We had plans to do pictures of just the two of us immediately after all around the golf course. The ONE picture that I asked for, that I really wanted, was under a weeping willow tree. I have always been in love with those trees. They’re so romantic looking. I asked for a picture like this for our engagement pictures, but sadly, it didn’t happen then and it didn’t happen the day of the wedding, either. 🙁 🙁 And the pictures of just the two of us only took place in one spot, inside by a fireplace….and not as many as I wanted.
Because there was no plan b for our pictures I was left running around the country club looking for good spots to take pictures with the family. I told myself the day before, “no matter what happens, remember to breathe and let things go”. I just couldn’t. I was so sad that the weather ruined our day. We paid a lot of money to have good pictures of us and our family and I am so worried that they didn’t turn out. I guess I’ll see when I get them back, but I feel that I won’t get what I have always dreamed of. Not to mention there are no pictures of us getting ready and there were supposed to be. There are no pictures of the little accessories that I worked so hard on – a special claddagh bobby pin and my something blue in my hair, the purse I had made on etsy that matched my dress perfectly, the ring bearer dish that we also had made on etsy with an inscription of the lyrics of our first dance – “You and Me Together, We Can Do Anything” by Dave Matthews Band, my shoes, I could go on and on.
During the evening several things didn’t happen like I wanted. I gave a schedule to our DJ of the standard wedding events – parental dances, slideshow, $ dance, garter, bouquet toss, etc. He forgot several of them and we had to ask him to do 3 of them towards the end of the night because a lot of our guests were leaving. I should have shopped around for a better DJ. He had great music, don’t get me wrong, but he’s more of a club DJ and not so much a wedding DJ. He kept saying things like “now lets have some real fun” after the parental dances when he started playing more dance music. He also commented on Joe taking off the garter. He said “this is the world record for the longest garter toss ever…c’mon!”. Rushing him!! Ugh…I guess you live and learn.
Aside from all of that, my mom didn’t come. This was very disappointing. My whole life my mom has been a hypochondriac. Something is always wrong with her. This time, she was told by her doctor that she needed to stay home on bed rest. WOW. She was less than 2 hours away and didn’t come. Not even for the ceremony. Not even for the most important day of my life. I have no memories with my mom the day of my wedding. No pictures. Not even a thoughtful card. Joe and I paid for the wedding ourselves and we are so proud to have done that on our own dime, but not even a thought came from my mom to help out. I take that back, she did say over the 9 months of the engagement she wanted to pay for my wedding dress. Well, we went dress shopping in April and guess who didn’t show up. She has no idea what my dress looks like. I also never saw a check. She was not a part of anything for the wedding. My sister threw a wedding shower for my mom’s side of the family (my parents are divorced)….guess who couldn’t come because she was “sick”. The regret that I feel most about this part of the day was that I acutally thought she would come. I regret feeling disappointed when she didn’t show up.
My point in writing all of this is to just get it out of my system. I have not vented these regrets to anyone, except for Joe. I don’t want people to think that I feel regret about the most important day of my life. I am so very happy that I am now married to the man I love and I know that is what people will tell me is the most important part. I know they will say that I can’t think about the things that went wrong and focus on the things that went right, but I need someone to tell me that what I feel about this is fair and I am justified to feel disappointed, right?