(Closed) Feeling resentful-venting

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee

You live together, he has the ring. Just let him do his thing and assure yourself it is happening, becasue it is!

How long has he had the ring for? 

Post # 3
Member
3527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
waitingbumblebee: Next time he asks why don’t you just tell him that hanging out with your married friends has been depressing since they are marriend and you are not and leave it at that?

Post # 4
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I understand your frustration.  But, like everyone else is saying be patient and focus on the fact that he has the ring.  Maybe he is plannign something super special so it’ll take time. 

That being said, my bf has had the ring for 2 months and i’m starting to also get impatient, so I do understand.  Just be open and honest with him-resentment if a bad thing

Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I am in the same boat. Most of my friends are engaged or married and I am getting ansy waiting. He bought the ring 7 weeks ago so I’m trying to be patient but it gets frustrating!

 

Post # 6
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I was wondering the same thing today. I feel so depressed when I go home from work and each weekend tht passes or we do something fun. It is so depressing. And then your married/engaged friends are like “jeez get over he’s gonna do it.” Yeah well coming from someone who didn’t have to wait! I’ve known for 9 months he’s been looking at rings and he went into this willy nilly “I do what i want” kinda phase for 6 months where he was all “I don’t want you to want to get engaged.” and my response was ‘if i don’t want to get engaged to you then we won’t be ever getting engaged and we wont have a relationship.” because I fully believe i shouldn’t have to change my wants (as a big decision like marriage) just to please him and make him feel like engagement is all his idea, that i’ve never ever thought of it before. Hell no. then he lost his job in June. And now he has the whole proposal planned. He has gotten mostly everything he needs for it and is super excited for it. but he won’t buy the ring until he gets a job. And my timeline is within a month after he gets a job. That is sooo hard for me because i need him to get a job regardless but it puts so much more pressure and stress. i’m going crazy over here :/ and I’m on antideprssants and they aren’t even helping a little bit. It really makes you feel so pathetic because that’s like all you want and all you think about and most people don’t understand that it’s consuming. 

Post # 7
Member
5560 posts
Bee Keeper

Have a little faith sisters..don’t live your life waiting.. just live for you [cake helps lol].  Be happy for yourself and where you are in life.  If you don’t like where it is then change it. Again.. I’m a huge cake pusher in times of need <3.

Post # 8
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Why is it depressing when he has the ring?  I figure that–having the ring–eliminates all doubts that you’ll be engaged and that should give you more time to just appreciate your relationship right now.

I guess I don’t really understand this frustration.  I see it as impatience more than anything, and slightly immature.  I would understand more if there is no ring and there was no talk about engagement–as many other Bees are currently in.  But you have had the talk, you live together, and he has the ring.  By and large the understanding is there that you two WOULD BE married.  In the essense of it all, you’re already engaged.  The only thing missing is the “formality” of him asking and putting the ring on your finger. 

Why focus on what you don’t have (mere formality) and focus on what you have (his commitment)?

 

Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee

You should just get on with your life and not allow something out of your control to dictate the way you feel. Why the rush to get hitched?

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Dont worry!

Mine has had it for 8 months, nuts I know! Focus on you. Theyre like dogs, they know when something is up. Mine wont do it unless I am co mpletely surprised.

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