- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. I want to start a family soon, but my husband thinks otherwise until we get a house – or so he says. He says he doesn’t feel like he is ready for it, although he understands that time is also of the essence here since I am already 33. However, he doesn’t want to start trying until we get a house which is probably going to be around next year – if everything goes well.
But I am feeling resentful because I honestly feel like he’s dragging me along until he figures it out. Who knows what other reason he can think about next year? For now, he says house is the reason. But maybe next year, he’ll tell me he’s not ready yet until he gets a Lamborghini?
Because of this, I get upset at a lot of things he does.
1. He plays a ton of video games and spends a few hours a day watching prank videos on YouTube. He only stops until he’s reached the end of the internet. I hate this because although it may not be entirely correlated to him unsure about wanting kids, but it makes me feel how immature he is. Besides, who likes watching these crap? I get that they are sometimes funny, but it doesn’t give me the urge to keep watching more and more.
2. He spends a significant amount of money on his car. Knowing that he is stuck with almost $150K in student loans, he still decided to purchase a $30K car that requires a lot of maintenance. This car always has issues and every visit at the car shop, we shell out at least $200-$300. And because he takes it out racing, the wheels go bald fast. In the next couple months, we’d have to replace the wheels and that’d cost us around $800.
3. We have to rent more expensive apartments because he wants a garage for his car. Currently, our rent is over $2,000. We could be renting a much cheaper place, but he wants his car in its own garage, not a shared one.
4. He doesn’t really help with the chores until he is told to do so. He has no initiative to help. I hate that I have to tell him what to do every time. If I don’t, he will just spend his entire day on the computer or on his Playstation and will only get up when he’s hungry.
We tried talking this out, but he denies everything. Just because he has not cheated, doesn’t goes out with friends that much or has any vices, he immediately thinks he is the best husband in the universe. Like a typical guy, he would pick out a rose from the bushes and call himself romantic.
We have also talked about kids, but I feel like he’s very uncomfortable of such topic that he would rather not talk about it at all.
To me, marriage is teamwork. I am debt free, bring home MORE bacon than him, yet I also do most, if not all, of the chores. My husband is a very nice guy, yet he is immature in a lot of ways and it’s not making me very happy.
Need some advice.