- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Hi Bees, I’m here for an update. And maybe more advice? So, we finally started planning and it was going along nicely. My Fiance and I started booking vendors and we set a date AFTER we consulted not only our families, but we also asked his sister and her fiance if they wanted to get together and talk dates. We didn’t hear anything from them for almost 2 months, so we set a date and booked a place.
Then I find out, (true to form?) my Future Sister-In-Law and her fiance booked their date one month before ours. Ouch. Now, I’m not a believer in the “wedding year” or thunder stealing, but this hurt a lot because they never returned our inquiry about date setting out of politeness, and a major reason we were having our wedding and not eloping was so that my FI’s extended family could come see him. Now, however, we are afraid their event has slashed the numbers on ours because many of the people cannot afford two plane fares that close, nor can they take vacation that close together. We were really sad, although we will be able to see them at the one wedding, just not at ours.
Another thing, this is where I get anxious and petty again, I have been planning completely alone, which turned out to be way more stress than you can imagine! My fears of having each other as bridesmaids was unfounded, as I did not ask her, and she was too clueless to know that family is sometimes asked to be in the bridal party. My family has been less than helpful, and the help (this makes me sad) from my FI’s family that was really excited to help us is now completely booked up and taken over by my Future Sister-In-Law, because she is beyond lost when it comes to weddings. I also found out tonight (the reason for my post) that my Future Sister-In-Law realized how much I knew about weddings and while planning can be stressful to do yourself, it is easier with a planner. I had asked my Fiance for one at the beginning but we didn’t have the budget for it, so we don’t have one. My Future Sister-In-Law decided she wanted her event to be “professional level” so her family hired her one. I realize I cannot reasonably be jealous about this, but moreso bees I am concerned! I am not normally competitive, but as you can see in this thread, sometimes it gets the best of me. I am not even concerned about my Future Sister-In-Law, I am concerned about competing with a professional wedding and our DIY budget wedding that has been forged from my intensely hard work.
I talked about all of this with my Fiance and we agreed I need to focus on the positives. I like sharing ideas with her, because thankfully at least our weddings are different styles. I also need to remember they are not doing this to intentionally harm me, this is just the sort of careless thing they do (with the date).
I don’t know, Bees, I’m trying to be strong and a good person, but deep down I feel sad that I’m doing so much myself and working so hard for this, and it doesn’t come easily; I had to start learning about weddings before I was engaged to know as much as I do, but that others can have everything paid for and handed to them. I wouldn’t even be so sad if it didn’t mean the loss of involvement of his family, and our guests, but I’m afraid everyone will be “over it” by the time ours comes around. They hardly remember or care now when things are mentioned, but they always gush over Future Sister-In-Law. I do also wish my family had some excitement, but they aren’t very nice people.
I guess I just needed somewhere to tell all of this, and you Bees are always good to me. Hugs for you all this time for reading.
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