(Closed) Feeling sad :-(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aww, I’m sorry to hear this!  Are you both on the same page about the engagement?  Like, does he know you really are looking to get married soon?  Have you discussed any sort of timeline? 

Keep your chin up, it’ll happen!

Post # 4
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well, if it makes you feel any better I just got engaged last month after almost 9 years together! Whenever I brought it up, or pointed out rings to him, he seemed disinterested and said nothing. The months before he proposed I had NO idea he was looking at rings, and I was starting to sadly picture my life without him – I really was sick of waiting and having to constantly answer questions from family and friends as to why we weren’t engaged. As if that was my fault or something.

    Hopefully your Boyfriend or Best Friend has something in the works and just wants to surprise you. Its hard to have 9 years invested and think maybe it was all for nothing. Worst case scenario, you one day just tell him you’re over and you’re sick of waiting, then a month or so later he’ll come around with a ring. Let’s hope it doesnt get to that point, because it almost did for me and it would have been very sad.

Chin up. I really do know how you feel!  Now if I can only get my guy to actually set a date – that will be another 8 years! ` sigh……………( My above July 13th date is only a hope )

Post # 7
Member
20 posts
Newbee

@Pinkrefresher:  Holy cow!  When I am having a down day, I could have typed your response to abbie017 word for word.  Crazy!

I feel for you… it is so hard to wait knowing that you don’t want to push him, or force him, into anything. 

I hope that he asks soon!  Really rooting for you!

Post # 8
Hostess
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Dang girl — sorry you’re feeling this way.  I know the holidays and engagments galore are especially hard for me (as of this NYE every single one of my ex’s are either engaged or married, ouch!)  But I just guess you have to keep on keepin’ on and hope that he has something in planned in the works!

Post # 10
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Pinkrefresher:  Im sorry its taking this long for him to propose.  If you have talked to him and you both want the same things, then you need to ask him why he is waiting this long? is it money wise? if it is, then i can understand that, rings are quite expensive, even when they are not even that big….also, you want him to do it for the right reasons and cause he really wants it, don’t force him into it, my BFF did that after 13 years of being with the same guy, and now they are engaged, but he told her what’s the point of getting marry, if its just a paper, so now she is not even allow to talk about weddings with him or anyone.   Again, make sure he wants it as bad as you do, otherwise hunny i would say don’t wait around.

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Pinkrefresher:  I got through it because I knew all along that he is a great guy who genuinely cares about me and had my back. We were always happy, so most of the time I just thought “at least we are happy. Better to be happy than married to someone else and be miserable”. And I didn’t want to start over with someone new. Every so often, like once a month, it would really get to me and I’d wonder “why is it so easy for every other woman and not me. What is wrong with me that no guy wants to marry me” and I’d throw a pity party…

   He put so much thought and effort into my ring and the proposal that when it finally happened I didn’t have any resentment. It kind of went away, replaced by excitement. Everyone reacted positively with a few “it’s about time” comments but in the end it was like anyone else’s engagement. I mostly felt relief. Of course now the questions are “Have you set a date?!” but I’d take that over the 8 years of “why aren’t you engaged?”

Good Luck, sooner or later you’ll be on the boards posting about wedding related stuff. The stress never ends I guess… lol. Better to have a great boyfriend than a lousy husband though, keep that in mind.

 

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

I understand.  Nearly 11 years as a couple and I’m still waiting!  And it’s definitely not easy.  Hopefully 2013 will be the year!  Best wishes to you!  

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