- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Hi Bees. I am feeling so sad this morning. I got a text from my Mom about a small wedding thing, and for some reason, it just set off an emotional flood gate of stuff that has been building for months & months.
This whole wedding-planning process has so far been something I’m doing mostly on my own. Fiance works 70 hours per week and has a long commute, so although he wants to be more involved, the blood sweat and tears have been mine.
Then there are the families.
His family lives on the other side of the country, so there is not much they really can do to help, I understand that. The thing is, though, they have not even offered to help with the things they could possibly help with. Also, they can’t afford to contribute financially and I do totally understand that. It just would have meant so much to hear something like “From this distance there might not be much we can do, but if there is anything, please let me know!” It would have made all the difference for me. Their involvement thus far has really just been more work for me — I put lots of effort into emails about all the stuff we’re planning. I know they appreciate them, but it ends up being one more thing I’m taking on to please everyone.
And then there is my Mom. Throughout the process she has been hot & cold. Sometimes very nice, other times… not so much. She has told me that she doesn’t want to help with big projects (like DIY flowers). The thing is, I never ASKED her to help, she just volunteered that she didn’t want to, and it was weirdly hurtful. She told me that she will not attend the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner because she doesn’t want to see my Dad two days in a row.
But the thing that just set off this sadness I’m feeling now happened this morning. Yesterday I asked her if she would take on a couple small things, one of them was getting the stuff for our SMALL bathroom baskets. I told her I wasn’t picky about what went in them. She agreed… then this morning she texted me: I changed my mind about the stuff for the bathroom.
It was the very first thing I saw when I woke up. It just hurt my feelings so much. We’re talking about $15 and 15 minutes that could be spent anytime over the next 4 months. I just wanted to have one less thing to worry about. It just hurts my feelings so much that she doesn’t want to do it, and that she just texted me all abruptly like that. It really just brought home a lot of the feelings I’ve been pushing down for the past 8 months.
It just made me feel so sad and alone.
So how can I be feeling this way over a bathroom basket??!!! 🙁