(Closed) Feeling Sad About Difficult Moment in Relationship (Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry that you are in a down part of your relationship right now.  I wish I had ideas on how to make things better but I don’t.  Just keep working on it and talking and hopefully things will work themselves out.  We are here if you need to talk!

Post # 4
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

How long have you 2 been together?

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just hang in there and talk to him so that you can get it off your chest and begin to move forward.  Remember that the tough times is what makes your relationship stronger in the long run.  If you can get through tough times now then think of it this way, there’s not much more you can’t get through and that says a lot about a relationship.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s really easy to get down during the winter.  If at all possible get outside and exercise!  The Vitamin D from the sun and the seratonin from working out can really help improve your mood!  It definitely won’t help with everything but it can give you a good base to work off of.  I know I have to be careful not to get grouchy when it’s cold and stormy and the days are ridiculously short since I don’t get out and moving very much.    

Post # 7
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Okay.  Is anyone else on here disturbed at hearing a fiance referred to as “the Boy”, or is it just me? Not getting down on anybody here, but I don’t think that’s helping an already difficult situation.  The things you describe ain’t easy — ex-wives, legal battles, snooping, lack of boundaries – for anyone.  Nor is being engaged (as in love as I am with my man).  Sorry to all you starry-eyed ladies out there.  But there are stresses for sure and most of us can admit this.  So, there is something to say, though people oddly write to say they have nothing to say.  Get some professional counseling.  Not even together.  How ’bout by yourself, to learn about yourself, to learn how to deal with your issues.  Maybe then you can begin to deal with his, and later, with your kids’ issues.  As far as I’m concerned, this is something we all should be doing… ’til the money runs out.  It’s a work in progress, no ladies? But ‘the Boy’?? You are obviously very, very angry at this guy and it doesn’t sound like a day-old bit of business to me.  Maybe you have every right to be.  But why not sort this out now, sweetpea?

Post # 8
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

JoeBeth12, I think that’s kind of a harsh response. 

Post # 9
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

JoeBeth12, lots of my friends will casually refer to their boyfriends/fiances/husbands as “the boy” in conversation or over e-mail… I don’t think they mean it in a disrespectful tone at all, just shorthand. “How’s the boy?” “The boy made us dinner last night, yum.”

CurlyDreamer, I’m sorry things are so yucky in your relationship right now. I know when my husband and I are in a “down” cycle it really helps us to go on a date and really talk about things, you know? It sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities, but maybe try and take a night for yourselves?

Post # 10
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

@JoeBeth12 -I call my guy “the boy” sometimes. My family (all girls) also lovingly referred to my brother as “the boy” growing up since he was the only boy in the family. 🙂

@CurlyDreamer – something that works for us is to be angry for a short time (whether it be 10 minutes or a few hours – never longer than a day), then get to a place (usually bed), where we are most comfortable and can talk openly about everything. We don’t yell or attack eachother, and both of us try to use “It makes me feel ___ when you ___” statements to express our own feelings. We apologize, and then do something together – whether it’s playing video games, taking a walk, or having a tickle-fight. Sometime to help us “reconnect” – I think a date-night is a great idea, too! Good luck!!!

Post # 11
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

JoeBeth12 – not appropriate, not called for.

Post # 12
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

A lot of girls refer to their SO’s as “the boy”… often b/c the phrase “boyfriend” can sound weird sometimes.

Post # 13
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Umm, I still call my FH “boy toy” sometimes.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well it’s hard imho to call your s.o. any name that is less syllables than saying significant other unless you’re engaged.  I never called him “significant other” because it’s too much..just too much to say.

I used to call T “My guy” and I think “the boy” isn’t bad imho at all.  

Post # 15
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Boy comments aside (and I see nothing wrong with the term), I hope that you and your partner are able to find some nice ways to reconnect and use some of the activities that generally help you transcend trouble to make a bridge into a new phase!

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