(Closed) Feeling sad. Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who’s done this…

posted 9 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee

WOW. We are the same person. Wanna move together?

Post # 17
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am going to come at this like you are me.  I followed my dream and I don’t regret it for one second.   When I was young, all I ever wanted to do was work for the President.  I worked alot of crap jobs and alot of crap hours for free.  Finally when I was in my early thirties I finally got to my goal.   I accomplished my goal very young, but I will never look back with regret for what I gave up.  I am not telling you to give up a great relationship, I am telling you to evaluate it.  Will you look back in 20 years and regret never having gone to NYC, if not than you are in the right place with the right person, if you will regret it, then it is time for a serious talk with your SO.

Post # 18
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You’re not the only one who’s done this!

Before I got engaged to my now HB, I told him that I considered the idea of studying abroad during my bachelor’s degree. To my surprise, he was nothing short of supportive. Therefore, alongside with planning the wedding, we planned my stay in the UK. Half a year after we said “I Do”, I jumped on a plane to England. I’m at my third month here, and while it has SUCKED a lot of the time, I am SO glad that I did it. If I hadn’t gone, it would have bugged me the rest of my life. I can truly say that it has been the strongest bonding experience for my HB and me – I appreciate him more than ever. While being apart is difficult, it really has strengthened our relationship.

The short version: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Post # 19
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

I think you should follow your dream and go for it. As PPs have said, if you Boyfriend or Best Friend is the right guy, you will get through this πŸ™‚ I have a Canadian friend who is in the 3rd year of his Ph.D. program here in the UK, while his fiancee has been living back in Canada this whole time. Being away from her has been agony for him at times, but he would have regretted it if he hadn’t done it. He’s moving back to Canada later this year to get married.

I moved to the UK when I was 18, to go to university. It was a bit scary because I didn’t know anyone here and English isn’t my first language… but it was the best thing I ever did. I had a boyfriend of 6 months back in my home country when I was preparing for the move, but I broke up with him a few months before I moved because I knew he wasn’t the right one for me.

Now I’ve been living in the UK for six years and I love it, and I’ve me the most amazing man who I want to spend my life with πŸ™‚

If you don’t go to NYC, I think you will always regret it.

Post # 20
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Go, if it is meant to be with your So he will come to you or you will go back home, you can get married after. GO! 

Is there a reason why he cant move too?

Post # 21
Member
9 posts
Newbee

@RenoRose: I cannot tell you how relieved I was to see this post.  I am in a very similar situation, except that the nagging desire for me is to live on my own, out of the country, for a year (maybe two). I don’t want to hijack, but I do want to let you know that I get it!

 

Post # 22
Member
1759 posts
Buzzing bee

Yep. I had a similar experience. I was going to break up with Fiance to move to NYC permanently (it’s the heartland of my profession, and I ended up in DC kind of flukily [moved there to see how things would work in a different LDR relationship–it didn’t]). However, I had already done the live by myself in a big city, live in NYC, live abroad, thing. I had also just started a new job after being laid off, and that was a lot of stress. After an extremely painful week (worst week of my life), I realized that NYC is not the answer to my problems (I didn’t like my new job and thought I’d never find one I liked here–but now I do like my job and know there are plenty of other opportunities here!), and I know that I’m truly happy here, with Fiance. I love my life and have so much fun.

BUT, as I said before, I’ve already been out in the world and done those things that I wanted to do. I think if I hadn’t I wouldn’t know for sure that I’m making the right choice. Sure, sometimes I still dream of the life in NYC, but I know what it was like and I know I wouldn’t be any happier there, especially without Fiance (who won’t move because of his job). I highly suggest you do it, get the bug out of your system, especially since your boyfriend is supportive. Go!

Post # 25
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@RenoRose: Well I can only speak for myself, but I broke it off because I knew my Boyfriend or Best Friend wasn’t the guy I wanted to spend my life with. He was Mr. Right now, not Mr. Right. If your SO is the right guy for you, you will stay together πŸ™‚

Post # 26
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I did something like that. I basically knew my high school boyfriend was the person I wanted to be with for a longass time. But then I went ahead and went to college in a different country. We’re still together, and I don’t regret it, but looking back I’m amazed he stuck with me anyway. IM me if you want to chat. 

Post # 27
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

In 2008 I ditched my then-FI for a year to go to Europe, because it was what I needed for myself. We got married two months ago yesterday. It can be done πŸ™‚

Post # 28
Member
9 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@RenoRose: Once I figure out exactly what I want to do in my “me time,” I’m going to do it. Who knows; maybe I’ll hate it after a month and be done with the whole thing and ready to come home to SO. At this point, it’s been on my mind for so many years that not going, at least in some form, is not an option. This seems like you, too. I believe in fate, but I don’t believe that it’s the main force in control of life; I know leaving SO will suck (for lack of better words), but I think we will work out if it’s “meant to be.” I would apply that to your situation, too – it would be difficult, but if you both want it, you can make it work. [I’m very optimistic about this stuff. πŸ™‚ ]

Post # 29
Member
9 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@linguo42: wow! I am really happy to hear that, and I’d like to hear more about it. How did he feel about that whole situation?

The topic ‘Feeling sad. Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who’s done this…’ is closed to new replies.

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